#nothing really happens with TDW in my fic

[woulddieforloki]

ITS BEEN EIGHT MONTHS AND 200K WORDS BUT IVE FINALLY PROGRESSED FROM SEPTEMBER 2012 TO NOVEMBER 2013 IN MY FIC AND NOW IT'S THE DARK WORLD TIME

[iamanartichoke]

Another totally unprompted ask, on the assumption that you are definitely no longer in need of them… another thing I’m trying to work out about Loki characterisation in preparation for perpetrating fic torture on him is how suicidal the poor sod is most of the time. This is another thing I’ve seen referred to a lot but only in passing. Though obviously this is a pretty triggery topic, so ignore if you want.

I am always in need of totally unprompted asks, otherwise I just assume no one wants to talk to me lmao

So, hoo boy. I have been mulling over this for, apparently, three days now bc there's just ... there's a lot to unpack here. Putting under a cut for obviously triggery content and also for length bc fml.

In my opinion, the response to "how suicidal is Loki most of the time" is "very, but whether or not he wants to do anything about it varies from moment to moment" (see what I did there? I'll see myself out). In other words, I have always had a headcanon that Loki is consistently, passively suicidal. This is a headcanon that comes straight from TDW, bc I'm certain that Loki never had any intention of surviving their mission. And that could be a whole other post, really, but the point is that even though this is a TDW-centric headcanon, I have come to adopt it as applying to Loki in general as well, not just in those specific circumstances.

When I say passively suicidal, I mean that Loki is just sort of ambivalent about the value of his own life. He feels like he doesn't deserve to be alive, and feels like there's little point in being alive. Which - I don't mean to sound all gloom and doom, like, poor uwu emo Loki (and I kinda hate that I have to pause to disclaim that, no, I don't just have a fixation on Loki being depressed for funsies/the aesthetic/whatever); I think that this mindset stems from really complicated places that I'm not sure I can articulate, but I will try.

I view Loki as someone who suffers from a severe inferiority complex, and I feel like it stems from being abandoned as an infant. Loki's life started with a traumatic event and, even if he doesn't remember the event itself, the feelings he experienced stayed in his subconscious. Feelings of loss, of fear, of despair and abandonment, of suffering - these are all feelings that burrowed into his bones and lived there for his entire life, feelings that colored how Loki viewed himself as a person as well as how he compared to the people around him.

Keep in mind that Loki didn't know he was abandoned until the events of Thor 1, obviously. We don't really know how old Loki is, in human years, but I have always assumed that he and Thor were at least adults (not teenagers), maybe the equivalent of early twenties - and the reason I bring that up is because it means Loki made it all the way to adulthood carrying the weight of a trauma that he did not remember or even knew had happened, so to him, there was no real reason for how wrong he felt. There was no explanation for the feelings of loss, of neglect, of fear. So on top of struggling with those feelings, Loki was also burdened with the alienation that comes with wondering why one can't just be like everyone else, why one can't just "snap out" of depression, why one's sense of self-worth has always been lacking.

So imagine what it's like to grow up as Loki. He was traumatized as an infant. The trauma has been with him his entire life, along with the confusion/alienation of not understanding why he feels the way that he does, and then on top of that, his basic personality lends itself toward introspection and isolation, so he likely felt even further removed from Thor and from his peers. Loki's too smart for his own good, and he's got an enormous capacity to feel and I feel like this is a combination that works against him as much as it does for him, bc it probably means he spent a lot of time examining himself and identifying all of his perceived flaws - and then berating himself for said flaws.

People with depression are probably pretty familiar with the bully that lives in your head, the one who is always there to remind you that you're stupid, or ugly, or that nobody likes you, or that you have nothing of value to contribute to anyone, etc. Loki's no different; he's got that bully in his head, too. Add onto this the fact that his brother is literally perfect, that he feels his father doesn't love him (or love him as much), that his interests in things like magic are looked down on in his culture, and that he's a prince (meaning that along with the privilege comes pressure, and being in the public eye, knowing that everyone around him is comparing him to Thor as much as he compares himself to Thor, well.) and you have a total clusterfuck of a mindset, and Loki's been existing inside of that clusterfuck for nearly all of his life.

I always go back to the quote where, when filming I think the vault scene, Kenneth Branagh directs Tom by saying, "This is the moment where the thin steel rod holding your brain together snaps." And it's such a significant moment for Loki bc this is where it all crumbles for him, learning the truth, but I also fixate on the "thin steel rod" part of the quote bc that's not how one would describe a healthy, stable person's mind. The implication, to me, has always been that Loki wasn't that stable to start with due to his general upbringing, his internal struggles, and his personality, so of course the devastation of learning he's adopted, and Jotun, would send him over the edge. One doesn't go from zero to 60; one doesn't fall over the edge unless they were balancing fairly close to it in the first place. And to me, the "thin steel rod" basically equals the aforementioned clusterfuck of a mindset.

THE POINT IS. (Holy shit, I ramble.) This is the foundation on which I'm basing my headcanon that Loki neither values his life nor feels as if he even deserves to live it - bc his default mindset is one of inferiority, of loss, of pain. And I think that going from being a general unstable person pre-canon to being passively suicidal post-canon is a thing that happened because, somewhere between the vault in Thor 1 and the dungeons in TDW, Loki just stopped caring.

Life is exhausting for everyone, but even moreso when your mental load becomes more than you can carry. Loki is exhausted. His experience is that things just keep getting worse and worse for him - he's never been valued, he's always been found wanting. He discovers that he was literally thrown away as an infant, unwanted and left to die, and things haven't gotten much better for him since then. Everything that can go wrong, does go wrong. His plans spin out of control. He's unable to prove his worth and his value and when he is, in fact, rejected, he literally tries to kill himself (only to survive and end up in an even worse situation).

It all just continually goes downhill, and Loki is fucking exhausted. He's done. He has no hope that anything is ever going to change - he will never be valued or even seen, he's unable to connect to anyone, he has no family (aside from Thor, but their relationship is so fraught with pain). As far as he's concerned, his life has been nothing but a waste since he was born and if no one else values it, why should he?

So - passively suicidal. He places no value on his life, and doesn't shy away from situations that could cost him his life. It's possible that the only reason he's not actively suicidal is bc his previous attempt not only failed but led to such a horrible situation that he's probably too afraid to intentionally seek out death again. He doesn't want to fail and end up worse off for it.

And - not that you asked this in particular, but - my biggest disappointment in the series is that none of what I've just written is addressed in a satisfying way (to me). That is, we don't get any real explicit acknowledgement of the trauma of Loki's abandonment as a baby or how that affected his mental health growing up; we don't get to explore how devastated he was to learn of his adoption; we don't ever see him reconcile his ingrained belief that jotuns are monstrous savages with the fact that he is jotun. He says "I betrayed everyone I loved, but I'm different now" and we're supposed to infer what he means without Loki actually articulating why he feels that he's the only one who should be held responsible for all these things that had happened or what "I've changed" even means to him (aside from not betraying Sylvie).

I would have liked to see these things addressed for a lot of reasons, but one of those reasons is that I would want to see how Loki comes to terms with all of his issues and his pain enough that he stops being passively suicidal. We never get to see that; after TDW, the time that passes allows for Loki to kinda chill, resulting in the Ragnarok version, but if there was any real healing or recovering going on, it was happening off-screen, with the audience expected to just go with "yeah Loki was going through it for awhile but he's kinda better now."

Furthermore, much of what I've written here is based on prime Loki's development through TDW, but doesn't account for series Loki's split from that timeline nor the theme of "Lokis survive" that's so prevalent in the series. So I don't think the "passively suicidal" headcanon is really appropriate for series Loki but, at the same time, I'd like to have seen why. I'd like to have seen Loki learning to value his life, or where the "we survive" mindset comes from, since that's not really been a thing before now. (Out of universe, I suspect it comes from the context of Loki just not dying whenever he tries to, but since TDW and IW haven't happened, and Loki didn't intend to survive his fall from the bifrost, framing Loki as an innate survivor doesn't really make sense, but to be fair, I'm just being picky.)

So, yeah. I'm not saying Loki doesn't experience growth or development in the series, I'm just saying that his arc left much unsaid and, furthermore, framing his growth as "wanting a throne to not wanting a throne" without addressing that Loki doesn't actually want the power of the throne, he wants the value and self-worth he associates with the throne, is - well, again, unsatisfying. Not bad, but it leaves viewers like me wanting bc we're cognizant of how much more could have been done.

I ... am going to end this now. This is probably nonsensical and all over the place, so I'm very sorry, and I'm sure this is why I don't get meta-starter asks lmfao bc no one's out here trying to read my dissertation submission for a Ph.D in Loki, but well, sometimes it just be like that.

Thank you for the ask and the opportunity to ramble.

[illwynd]

views on Frigga?

hilariously enough i was just thinking about some of this today, so good timing, nonny! and my answer is that this is actually a sorta complicated question!

firstly, there used to be (and i guess probably still is in some circles) a trend to consider her a perfect mom who did nothing wrong ever or even to call Loki a mama's boy, and i have never been on board with that. She is undoubtedly the kinder, more loving parent in comparison to Odin... but that's a pretty low bar, ya know? She made plenty mistakes as well---going along with many of Odin's terrible ideas, for one, but also some pretty significant errors of judgment and perception of her own (like not realizing that Loki was quietly having a breakdown and instead handing him Gungnir and telling him to make dad proud---like okay, he was hiding it well but that's her kid, gosh she clearly knows him real well not to realize he might not be 100% okay five minutes after that revelation and might need some support!), plus various manipulative tactics, willful blindness to problems, and so on.

Re the "mama's boy" assertion, I have also always been particularly struck by the fact that Loki does not seem very close to or trusting of her even before he learns that she also hid the truth of his origins from him, and my sort of headcanon is that while she spent more time with Loki when he was younger and she tried to balance out Odin's obvious favoritism by doing things like teaching him her magic... he would have ended up being pretty ambivalent about this as a consolation prize: this special thing she taught him was also what got him teased, called weak and deceitful, so he would suddenly be put in a very tricky spot. He can't reject it or disavow it, because it's this special thing his mom taught him (and which he also genuinely enjoys and appreciates), and he'd resent her a little for putting him in that position and even more for not realizing that it was going to cause problems for him, and he wouldn't be able to confide in her about any of these issues without insulting her or causing a fight with the parent who does clearly care about him but also seems more concerned with keeping the peace in the family. (see also the essay i haven't written about the many things that make loki such an especially relatable character to trans masc folks.) So what was originally an attempt at helping him ends up being the cause of a wall of silence between them and him having to keep his feelings secret. Which seems to have become status quo when we see them in Thor 1.

On the other hand, there is also a trend that I think goes a little too far in the other direction, of considering her a completely terrible parent and that any reasonable person could have done better... because, I mean, for one, if she were a perfect parent, there would basically be no story there. From a story-external perspective, if Loki trusted her and were able to just go to Frigga for help and if she were able to simply give good guidance and solve the problem, Thor 1 would be a very short and boring movie, or at least a very different one, and I'm glad we got Loki having a complete breakdown instead. (I feel like any fic writer who's written Thor 1 era canon-compliant fic has had to solve the problem of "where the hell is Frigga and why is she not even noticing this nonsense"). So with that in mind, I'm willing to chalk it up to royalty, too busy to parent, assumes things are fine if the sky isn't falling sort of human-normal imperfection, which happened to be just tragically wrong for the circumstances and personalities involved. And I like how friggin' real some of her mistakes are. Her manipulative attempts to "reason with" Loki in his cell hit... really close to home for me, and that is absolutely the sort of thing that people who are well-meaning and generally moderately okay parents do that absolutely fucks up their kids.

On yet another hand, her being fridged in TDW was lazy af and the movie would have worked just as well if she'd been not-quite-mortally wounded and the boys had to go get vengeance for that. (iirc this was a point originally made by @gorgeousgalatea?) And Loki did suffer a similar injury and survive, after all. Fridging Frigga, pantsless Selvig, and sea bass are the movie's only flaws.

And ok I realize this response is largely angled toward Frigga in terms of her relationship with Loki, but alas that is a lot of the context we have for her, and it's probably a long enough answer at this point. Frigga's C+ parenting. Something like that.

[aurorawest]

⭐️ ooooh! can you please give a "director's commentary" on chapter 2 from "Foundations" where Loki and Thor are in a pub and get confronted by these two awful guys??

Yeah! Gosh it feels like a long time ago that I wrote Foundations!

Some general commentary about this fic - one of my struggles with writing Loki was how to get into his head and make sense of the fact that in Thor 1, we have that deleted scene where he tells Thor that he loves him, and to never doubt it. Obviously that scene was cut, but Loki’s entire arc really does bear out that he loves Thor, so I really needed to find a way to reconcile, “Never doubt that I love you,” with Loki’s douchebaggery in Thor 1. So that really was the impetus for this fic - what are some things that have happened between them that could lead to Loki’s love for Thor never wavering, but would also convince him that keeping Thor from the throne was a good thing, so good that he should resort to fairly extreme measures to achieve it? I wrote this fic a bit out of order—chapter 3 came first, then 1, 2, and I wrote 4 and 5 more or less simultaneously.

The men watching him didn’t seem like a concern anymore, either. They were the princes of Asgard. Who would dare attack them?

“Drinking by yourselves, princelings?” a voice said from above them suddenly.

So in chapter 2, I wanted to show Thor’s hot-headedness, and I wanted it to involve Loki, because I wanted to show a conflict between Loki loving Thor for looking out for him...but also hating Thor for looking out for him.

Spoken too soon. Loki’s head snapped around much faster than Thor’s did. It was the two men who had been watching him. Surprise.

With a smile that he hoped was charming, rather than sloppy, Loki said, “Well, I wouldn’t say we’re alone.” Wait, was that supposed to be clever? The drink was getting to him. The drink had gotten to him.

Thor scooted his chair over and slung an arm around Loki’s shoulders. “Only because we haven’t found company yet!” he thundered. Loki tried to slither out from under his arm but Thor’s fingers clamped around his shoulder, so he resigned himself to his brother’s drunken clutches. “Join us, friends. And well met on this beautiful evening!”

I tried to mimic the dialogue patterns of Thor 1 and TDW for this fic much more than I typically do. Since most of my fic takes place post-Ragnarok, and I really love the tone of Ragnarok, I draw a lot of my style and tone from that. But I wanted to give this fic a feeling of being set in the past, long before Loki and Thor encounter 21st century humans.

[...] The men looked at each other and Loki felt another twist of uneasiness. One of them, his hair a fiery ginger that Loki couldn’t help letting his eyes linger on, 

This is a very subtle (like so subtle that I’m sure literally everyone missed it) reference to Theo Bell in the novel Loki: Where Mischief Lies, who’s a redhead. I have a head canon that Loki has a thing for redheads.

elbowed the other, who was brawnier and uglier, with a nose that looked like it had been flattened by someone else’s fists on more than one occasion.

Could I have just said his nose had been broken? Probably. I still kind of like the way I worded this.

“Perhaps if it was just you here, Your Highness,” the uglier one said. Loki stiffened, but Thor didn’t react. Either he didn’t get it or didn’t care. But Loki wasn’t so far gone in drink that he didn’t understand, nor did he miss the way the redhead’s eyes narrowed at him. It sparked a flash of irritation in him—he was the prince, they had no right to look at him that way. But he looked down at the table, a habit honed in court, where it was easier to bow his head and dig his nails into his palms rather than argue with Father.

Loki digging his nails into his palms hard enough to draw blood has become one of his tics, the more I’ve written of him. This...may have been the first time I referenced it?

With a chuckle, Thor said, “It is just us here.”

The man laughed too. It was much less nice than Thor’s dumb, likable laugh. “Aye, Prince. You and your greasy brother.”

Head canon: Loki’s hair looks greasy because he hates its natural curl and he dumps product on it. He would rather it looked bad in any other way than be curly.

The smile fell off Thor’s face and he removed his arm from Loki’s shoulders. “What?” he said, suddenly sounding far less drunk.

“It’s not the grease we mind,” the redhead piped up.

Loki raised his head, sensing danger. It was best not to be looking at your lap when you knew it was coming. His daggers were a comforting weight on his forearms, but Thor hadn’t brought a weapon tonight. Why would he? Loki went out into the city by himself all the time, and he never had any trouble. And if one of them was going to have trouble, it would certainly be Loki—less trusted, less loved. Too pale, too quiet. Unnatural.

Loki is definitely an unreliable narrator here. He sees hatred and distrust everywhere he looks. There’s obviously an element of truth to that (as we’re about to see), but on the other hand, he’s been drinking at this pub for ages with no trouble. He knows the bartender. Loki’s mind really prioritizes negative experiences (I guess most people do but Loki, anxiety and depression ridden Loki, really does).

“No, not at all,” the man said. “Who hasn’t skipped a bath now and then? No, the thing is, we don’t drink with faggots.”

I remember after I posted this fic, I went back a few days later and added the tag ‘period typical homophobia’ because of this line.

The room didn’t actually fall silent, but it might as well have. There was a loud ringing, and it took Loki a second to realize it was in his own ears. His chest felt like something heavy, like the hammer Mjølnir that was kept in the weapons vault, was compressing it to nothing, and he was fairly sure that his heart had stopped beating.

Thor hasn’t been given Mjolnir yet.

The man’s grin was practically ghoulish. “Probably thinks no one sees him going into that whorehouse, the one where they keep the lads—”

I purposefully left it vague whether this is true. But since this is the director’s commentary, I can tell you - it’s true! Loki does frequent a brothel with male employees. He actually has sort of a long term relationship with one. The guy is in love with Loki. Loki is...not. There comes a point where the guy confesses his feelings to Loki. Loki never comes back after that. Later, on The Statesman after Ragnarok, Loki finds out the guy was killed in Hela’s purge. He feels pretty awful.

The scrape of Thor’s chair on the wood floor was deafening. [...] “That,” he said in a dangerous voice, “was not a very nice thing to say.”

Kind of an understatement, Thor.

The redhead took a step back. The ugly one, who’d just aired Loki’s—dirty laundry? Skeletons?—didn’t. He was mixing metaphors. This was something he’d preferred to think of as simply a thing that he just didn’t talk about, but now that it had been announced to a roomful of people, it seemed like something he should have been much more ashamed of. Surely people didn’t stare like that otherwise.

Loki is...not exactly uncomfortable with the fact that he’s attracted to men. He knows, or thinks, that it’s outside the norm, but he doesn’t think that he’s doing something wrong. I have a reference in some fic...somewhere...I can’t remember which one, about how Asgardians live such a long time that most of them will try having sex with someone of the same-sex, even if they don’t really think they’re attracted to people of the same sex. It might be in one of my fics for the Loki Rarepair Bang? Anyway, later, Loki will come to understand that. At this point, he’s still kind of like...I don’t know anyone else who likes this. I was really trying to walk a line between him being ashamed and him knowing, deep down, there was nothing wrong with him.

Then again, they may have been staring because of the look on Thor’s face. “Apologize to my brother,” Thor said.

The man looked at Loki and grinned. Loki folded his wrists inwards and fingered the hilts of his daggers, but he said in a low tone, “Thor, it’s fine.”

[...] “Best listen to your brother,” the man said with a leer. “Or maybe I should say ‘sister.’”

Personally, Loki didn’t find this insulting, 

Probably because it’s a terrible insult.

but Thor clearly did. 

Loki isn’t entirely comfortable with this fact. Thor sends mixed signals. He doesn’t have a problem with anything about Loki, and yet, he still gets mad about an insult like this. Obviously, it’s meant as an insult, which is why Thor gets angry - it’s not the content so much as the fact that these assholes are attacking Loki.

[...] Loki knew that a normal Asgardian should be offended by all of this. The disrespect, if not the accusation itself. [...]

But all Loki could see were repercussions spidering out from this moment, repercussions from getting angry, from standing up for himself, for fighting back. An Asgardian was supposed to fight back. But Loki knew that he couldn’t win either way. If he fought back, his father would say he should have calmed the situation. If he didn’t, everyone would think he was weak. And in any case, the fact that there’d been a confrontation in the first place would be blamed on him.

At the heart of a lot of Loki’s issues is this idea that he can’t do anything right. He knows what he would naturally do, but knows it’s not acceptable. He knows what he “should” do, but he also doesn’t think that’s acceptable. He feels caught in this impossible place where it’s literally impossible to win the approval of his father...which is the one thing he wants.

[...] In a blur, Thor’s fist swung out, connecting with the man’s face with a wet crack of bone and cartilage. The man dropped like a stone, but when he hit the ground he tried to roll away. His red-headed friend stepped forward, bringing a fist up.

I remember really, really not wanting to write a fight scene here, haha.

In a second, Loki was on his feet, holding out a hand that was suddenly grasping a dagger. The redhead jolted to a stop as Loki extended it so the point rested inches from the tip of the other man’s nose. With an icy smile, Loki said, “I wouldn’t.”

I very much love writing Loki wielding his knives.

The redhead’s face twisted in a snarl, but he lowered his hands to his sides. There was that taken care of, at least.

Thor kicked the other man out from the table he was trying to crawl underneath, grabbing him by one of the pauldrons on his shoulders and hauling him to his feet. The man took a wild swing at Thor and missed. In return, Thor head-butted him, smashing his already ruined nose to an unrecognizable, bloody pulp. Then he slammed the man down on the table, one hand around his neck. The tabletop splintered and bowed with the force of the blow. Their ales splattered everywhere.

“Thor,” Loki said warningly. “That’s enough. He’s an idiot—let him go.” But Thor was too far gone. The rage of battle, he liked to call it. Loki preferred to think of it as dumb, animal bloodlust. The man’s face was turning red while he wheezed, and his attempts to hit Thor were growing weaker.

“Thor.” Loki took a chance, lowered his dagger, and stepped forward. He wrapped a hand around his brother’s shoulder and pulled him back, though of course his strength was no match for Thor’s. If Thor wanted to kill this man, he could, and Loki would be powerless to stop him with mere strength. Sorcery, yes. But that was what had gotten them into this in the first place. And besides, Loki didn’t think Thor would thank him for magicking him. “Stop. It’s not worth it.” Thor bared his teeth and squeezed his fist tighter around the man’s neck. The man’s eyes popped and his wheezing became a thin whistle, then the absence of anything in his gaping mouth as Thor cut off his air supply.

For a moment, Loki studied the man. He’d thought—he’d assumed—that he would feel a bolt of horror, of a desperate need to stop this so a life could be spared. But as he looked down and searched for that feeling, he just found a cold emptiness. What did he care if this man died?

I believe that Loki is a deeply sensitive person, who cares and loves with absolute abandon...if you make it to the very inner reaches of his heart. Otherwise, he probably doesn’t give a shit about you. I want to show that here, that Loki has this very cold-blooded side. It’s not that he likes killing people or inflicting pain, but it doesn’t bother him.

What he cared about was not causing more trouble than had already been caused. About making sure Thor didn’t do something rash and stupid. And about not getting the blame himself for something that he hadn’t started, because for his whole life, people had been ready to believe the worst of him.

Here’s some set-up for Loki’s eventual scheme to prevent Thor from taking the throne. Loki knows Thor acts without thinking. Here, he wants to stop it. Later, he’ll use it against Thor. Here, Loki is very much fighting against people’s perception of him. He wants to be loved. This flips for him later, where he embraces what (he thinks) people think of him and really tries to become the villain. It’s not a natural fit on him.

“Brother, please,” Loki hissed. “Stop. Think.”

This is an intentional echo of Loki’s dialogue to Thor on Jotunheim in Thor 1.

And why should this work now, when it rarely did? But Loki felt the tenseness go out of Thor’s shoulder, and after a second, he released his hold on the man, pushing him away. The force of the push slid the man across the table and headfirst onto the floor, but he was moaning, so clearly he wasn’t dead.

For the first time, Loki glanced around the alehouse. If there hadn’t been silence before, there certainly was now. Everyone in the place was staring, and not in a friendly way. The look in Birger’s eyes was unmistakable. 

I used the name Birger for the bartender because I figured I wouldn’t want to use it for a more important character.

[...] He [...] smiled as though nothing was wrong, met Thor’s eyes, and walked to the door. Spine straight, shoulders back, the half-smile on his face that he wore when he didn’t want anyone to know how much he was breaking inside.

Loki is a practiced actor. There’s far more going on inside his head than he’ll ever let on.

He didn’t even know why this, of all things, should crack one more piece of him. Certainly, it wasn’t the idea of gossip about him. There was already gossip about the fact that he liked men as well as women. Mother already knew, anyway. She’d sat him down one day, several months after she’d noticed his eyes following not just some of the attractive serving girls, but also boys, and had the excruciatingly awful Talk with him that he was sure Thor had gotten from their father, not from her. “You know to take precautions to prevent disease, not just pregnancy?” she’d asked, and he’d managed to stammer, his face bright red and burning, “Yes, Mother, of course.” Honestly he hadn’t thought much about it, but the only thing that could have made that moment worse was admitting ignorance.

“Will you be my fester-man?” has Loki remembering talking about his attraction to men with Odin, and how absolutely mortifying it was. Odin’s side of this talk is telling Loki that whoever he wants to sleep with is fine, but he needs to marry a woman and produce an heir.

But Thor was here to witness this, and maybe that was what made it seem so awful. Thor, who meant the world to him, but whom he worried saw him as lesser. Lesser than his friends, the Warriors Three and the Lady Sif, lesser than every other Asgardian. Lesser than Thor himself. Why wouldn’t he see Loki as lesser, when Thor was going to be king? When despite this display tonight, he’d receive no more punishment than a stern talking-to from Father?

Loki had kept his cool, Loki had defused the situation—they were walking away from this with everyone alive because of him. And yet he was the one who everyone would see as the one who hadn’t done things quite right, while Thor, who’d nearly killed a man out of anger, would have his actions waved away. Loki’s circumspection was a flaw, while Thor’s hot-headedness was a virtue. Loki would never hold the throne because he wasn’t Asgardian enough, and Thor was too Asgardian for his own good.

Really the core of this section and Loki’s bitterness—Loki can do nothing right, and Thor can do no wrong. Loki sees his outsider status as both a flaw, but also as an advantage. He does feel he did the right thing in this situation, but he knows no one else will feel that way. Thor’s reaction was maybe not good, but it’s what everyone would expect.

It wasn’t that Loki didn’t appreciate that his brother had almost killed a man to protect him. It was just, he didn’t need to be protected, and he could see the outcome of this writ large as though it was scrawled across the front of the palace. It made him want to scream. It made him hate Thor with such a scalding fierceness that it scared him. He couldn’t hate Thor. But nothing was fair, and Thor never did anything about it.

He hates Thor. He loves Thor. One thing this fic really taught me about Loki was how he lives with cognitive dissonance every moment of every day. He holds these massive contradictory feelings inside him and they just sit next to each other, totally irreconcilable. 

The two of them walked the dark streets of Asgard in silence, Thor’s heavy breathing quieting the farther they got from the alehouse. [...] “I suppose you want to know if what they said is true,” he said, staring straight ahead into the dark. His eyes found the palace, shining golden in the distance.

Thor made a noise. In his periphery, Loki saw his brother look towards him. “I know it’s true,” Thor said. “I mean, maybe not the part about the…um, establishment, but you liking men, I already knew that.”

Swallowing, Loki said, “And?”

“And what?”

Loki stopped walking and it took Thor a couple steps to realize it. As Thor turned back to him, Loki asked, “And… [...] Do you care?”

[...] “Why would I care?” Thor asked. And then, “Did you think I would care?”

“I…” Loki hugged his arms over his chest until he realized it looked childish, like he had something to hide, something to be ashamed of. Dropping his arms to his side, he said, “They cared in there.”

Thor snorted and shook his head. “They were fools. I’ve never known you to put any stock in the opinions of fools, brother.”

“So you don’t,” Loki pressed. It seemed of the utmost importance that Thor actually say these words. Loki needed him to prove it, not with his fists, but on Loki’s territory, by saying it. Out loud. Unequivocally. Plainly.

Loki needs to be told things verbally. He needs people to tell him, straight up, ‘I love you.’ ‘You’re worthy.’ Etc. Which I think is why Odin’s ‘No, Loki,’ is so devastating to Loki. Loki places so much important on words and doesn’t really look at people’s actions (Thor, incidentally, is the opposite).

Shaking his head, still looking befuddled, Thor said, “No. There’s nothing to care about.” Then he paused and took a step closer. Reaching out to put a hand to the back of Loki’s neck, he said, “Loki. Even if there was, you’re my brother. And I still wouldn’t care.”

I remember really wanting to get this right. I think when I first wrote this line, I had Thor say, “You’re my brother; of course I don’t care.” But I wanted Thor to just...not care. It doesn’t really have anything to do with Loki, Thor just isn’t a bigot. But I also wanted the sense of like, even if he did care, the fact that it’s Loki would make him rethink this.

Loki wanted to hug him. But that vein of resentment was still there and it stopped him. Instead, he swallowed hard and just stood there for a moment, Thor’s hand cupping the back of his head while he felt something inside him splintering.

And for the first time, he identified it. It was the feeling of his jealousy and love butting up against each other, two immovable forces that wouldn’t yield to the other. With a flash of insight that felt more like seeing into the future, like a faint hint of his mother’s witchcraft (none of which had been passed down to him), he realized this battle was going to shape his life.

He’s right.

And right then, he wasn’t sure love would win.

Nooooo Loki, it will!

“Loki?” Thor said, sounding unsure.

He forced himself to smile, and as he met Thor’s eyes, the resentment receded. Reaching up, he wrapped a hand around Thor’s forearm and said, “Thank you.” There was more to say, but it was beyond him. It was too much.

“Nothing to thank me for,” Thor said, sounding relieved. Then, he ruffled Loki’s hair, which he knew Loki hated. But this old, familiar argument was safe, and they retreated to it as they continued their walk back to the palace. Loki smoothed his hair down and wished he could do the same with the cracks in his life. Something felt changed, and it was frightening, and he felt in his bones that there was no going back to safety, no matter how much he might try.

Safety is an incredibly important feeling to Loki. I return again and again to it in my fics. There are certain people that make him feel safe, and these are the people he loves above all others. You can count them on one hand: Thor. Frigga. Stephen Strange. There’s an element of physical safety to this, but mostly it’s emotional safety. There are people who will let him be who he is, and he’ll do anything for them because of it.

Thank you so much for asking!! It was really fun to return to this fic.

Fanfic Writers: Director’s Cut

[the-irish-mayhem]

Fosterson Fic Rec Masterlist: Multichapters

The Main Reclist has been split to fix the links that tumblr decided to break if there were too many of them in a single post. I’ll be keeping the main reclist updated (even if the links appear broken) as well as maintaining this list and the list for oneshots.

I need help expanding this list! If you have any favorites or fics of your own of your own you don’t see included in this list and you’d like to submit for consideration, please drop me a line.

List updated April 2020. New additions marked with **

Updated during this wild quarantined time, which should serve as a reminder to everyone to APPRECIATE YOUR CONTENT CREATORS! Leave all the comments and kudos to show our love for everything they do. Big thanks to everyone who recommended and/or created content for this amazing ship.

Rated G/K-K+

**The World has Turned and Left Me Here by alwaysaprilia: Jane Foster’s mission is impossible: build a wormhole, save the world. Thor Odinson thinks his task is even more impossible: keep Jane Foster alive long enough for her to accomplish her mission. AKA: What-to-do-when-the-damsel-in-distress-keeps-distressing-you. Rec: This is such a lovely little AU fic, brings in such an expansive world so succinctly and smoothly. | 16k | In progress

**Unspoken by igi_pigi: Post bringing his brother back to Asgard from Midgard, Thor is told by Heimdall that Jane Foster has decided to stop looking for him. [Set after Avengers1.] Rec: Angsty, with some nice Frigga content. | 4.8k | Complete

**Overlapping Spaces by khilari, Persephone_Kore: Thor returns to Earth a month after the Chitauri invasion to keep his promises -- to see Jane again, and take her to see Asgard, even if the rainbow bridge is still undergoing repairs. Not that Jane is complaining about watching the repairs. But she wasn't expecting Loki to be haunting the palace library, even in psychiatric care; and Loki wasn't expecting to make friends with Thor's mortal girlfriend. Rec: If you’re looking for a good, long Jane-centric fic that also features endgame fosterson, a well written Loki, and really interesting take on Asgardian culture, this is the fic for you. | 107k | Complete

IW Coda by hariboowrites: THOR AND JANE FOCUSED CODA TO IW bc i am who i am. Rec: We all need a fosterson followup to Infinity War, and this one has an ending that made me scream internally with excitement. Make this the opening of the next Avengers movie pls. | ~4k | Complete

Five Times Jane Was Kinda Jealous And One Time Thor Was by shinyopals: ‘Hello, Jane,’ said Thor. He gave her a smile that would move mountains and definitely still made her stomach flutter. ‘This is Rachael and Amanda. They wished to give their regards for my help during the Convergence. Although of course without you we would have been hopeless.’ He turned back to Rachael and Amanda. ‘This is my dear friend Dr Jane Foster, of whom I was speaking.’ Dear friend? Jane blinked. They’d been sleeping together for a couple of weeks and had had a slightly awkward conversation to establish where they stood with each other (what Jane called dating exclusively and Thor called a courtship). “Friend”, however “dear”, seemed a bit of an understatement. Sometimes dating a gorgeous world-saving alien prince has its drawbacks. Rec: BURY ME AND HAVE THIS JEALOUSY FIC PRINTED ON MY TOMBSTONE. I usually don’t like the toxicity most jealousy fics are infused with, but this one is so pure and wonderful. I could read it every damn day. | 14k | Complete

The Arizona Banana Famine by Niobium: Thor experiences the simpler side of Earth. Rec: Absolutely hilarious. Thor + shenanigans of living on Earth and trying to hide his identity + Jane helping him to varying effect. | 7k | Complete

Non Est Ad Astra Mollis e Terris Via (there is no easy way from the earth to the stars) by Rozilla: Jane Foster keeps out of social media mostly, but does keep a blog for all things science. With a few personal posts thrown in. Edited (with sarcastic asides) by Darcy Lewis. Rec: Fosterson is mentioned often, but Jane’s voice is incredibly worthwhile. | 10.4k | Complete

Hidden resonances by kes: After the vision Wanda Maximoff gave him, Thor had more questions than answers, and so he sought truth with Jane, in a cave beneath the mountains. Rec: A really great fix-it taking place during AOU, plus some fosterson feels. | 6k | Complete

Time and Trouble by shinyopals: Frigga thinks she knows exactly what to expect from the rest of her life. Then one son perishes and returns, whilst the other falls for a mortal woman who’s like nothing Frigga could have predicted.(Frigga’s POV from the end of Thor right through to post-TDW.) Rec: BLESS ALL FRIGGA-CENTRIC FICS. Great outside perspective fosterson, plus a TDW fix-it. | 14k | Complete

If You Want To Live series by hariboo: They lost Loki when they sunk Manhattan. Three years laters Loki finds them and that’s really when everything begins. This is that beginning. Rec: Terminator fusion AU that you didn’t realize you needed until now. Knowledge of the Terminator films is helpful but not required. The 'needing each other’ that comes along with a desperate post-apocalyptic situation really lends itself well to fosterson. It also hurts a hell of a lot. I wish it wasn’t finished. | 5k | Complete

Fabulous Baking Sisters or How to (not) Get Over A Norse God in 730 Days by Rozilla: After seeing Jane in a slump one too many times, Darcy decides to get her into stress baking… and soon regrets it. Rec: A lot of Jane/Darcy brotp, but lots of fosterson goodness especially near the end. The phrase “sex coma” is definitely used. | 8.5k | Complete

Waking Ease by Salmon_Pink: Thor/Jane, rated G. Set after Thor: The Dark World. Written for Comic Drabbles, prompt "halo”. Rec: very, very short, but cute. This is a part of a larger series by this author, but this is the only fosterson chapter I’ve seen so far. | <1k | In progress

Hold the Sun by writerblocked: Thor and Jane (and everyone else) share a meal. Rec: A nice peek into regular life, complete with some touches of angst and fluff at the same time. This story, like the above rec, is a part of a larger work that does not solely include fosterson. | <1k | Complete

If She Is Worthy by Mr. Chaos: During the battle with The Destroyer, Mjolnir returns to Thor’s hand. But what if Selvig hadn’t pulled Jane away? And what if it wasn’t just Thor that had proven himself worthy? Rec: Jane kicking ass and taking names with Mjolnir. Nuff said. Downside? A giant twist at the end and still waiting for a sequel. | 4.5k | Complete

A Story of Us by me: Short and sweet prompt fills. All feature Thor and Jane as the main couple and are all just ridiculous fluff. Rec: A collection of my prompt fills from tumblr. It wouldn’t be a true reclist without a self-plug. | 26.2k | In progress

Rated T

The Foster Edition series by asoulofstars, MissChrisDaae: What happens when Jane Foster is in the Battle of Manhattan? In short, it changes everything. Rec: FIXING MARVEL WITH JANE FOSTER IS THE BEST, NAY, THE ONLY SOLUTION I WILL ACCEPT. | 60k | In progress

Game Changer by asoulofstars, MissChrisDaae: In the aftermath of the Convergence, Jane and Thor return to Earth in search of the scepter, and the Avengers slowly begin to reassemble. Across the cosmos and on Earth itself, enemies begin to gather, enemies that threaten everything the team has ever fought for, and Jane is faced with something just as daunting, but far more personal. Evolving from a mortal to a goddess. From a spectator to a player. From a scientist to a queen. Rec: A fluffy setup for something big, I can feel it. | 8k | In progress

A Magical Solution to the Einstein Field Equations by shinyopals: Jane Foster has got enough on her plate, what with being a full time researcher, giving lectures, applying for grants, writing books, and consulting for Stark Industries. When Thor drops off the face of the universe and leaves her on Earth with no clues as to where he is, she doesn’t know what to do or how to find him.Then an attack on Stark Industries changes everything, and she finds herself getting thrown into a life that she’s previously only watched from the sidelines, and where getting punched through a wall is suddenly just an average day of the week. Rec: THE MOST PERFECT RAGNAROK AU TO EVER EXIST ANYWHERE EVER. EASILY ONE OF MY FAVORITE FICS OF ALL TIME. | 56k | Complete

Ace in the Hole by MissChrisDaae: Working alongside Selvig on Project PEGASUS, Jane manages to escape when Loki arrives, bringing with her the data on the Tesseract, and making herself SHIELD's biggest resource in combating the rogue trickster. At least until her semi-boyfriend finally makes good on his promise to come back, and she finds herself caught in the middle of a war. And she might be a key part in stopping it. Rec: MOAR JANE IN THE AVENGERS. MOAR JANE BEING VALUED IN THE MCU. MOOOOAAAAAR. | 11.5k | Complete | Part of The Foster Edition series

Wild Card by MissChrisDaae: Separation is, for Thor and Jane, a little easier in knowing what's happening to each other, but they have their own trials to face. In the midst of a war, Thor learns of a force greater than anything he has ever faced, one that could change the fates of both himself and and the woman he loves. Nothing is certain, and the burdens of his family, his life, and his love are weighing heavily upon him. Working with Betty Ross, Jane works to understand the secrets of the universe, unaware of the fact that she's being tested with every move she makes. When she temporarily moves to look after her mother's house in London, she and Darcy come across the Convergence. And, for the third time, Jane's life is turned upside down by an ancient force from another realm. Rec: Canon divergent Fosterson is my freakin JaaaaAAAAm. Also BETTY ROSS. A great replacement for canon if you’re feeling Salty. | 33k | In progress | Part of The Foster Edition series

Dancer in the Dark by MissChrisDaae: Jane Foster has always been a member of the corps de ballet, and has never voiced complaint until one night when she indulges in the fantasy of being the prima ballerina. A mysterious voice calls out to her, tempting her, coaching her, offering to make her a star, and she accepts. Months later, the prophecy comes to light when the star of the company becomes mysteriously indisposed. Jane is suddenly cast into the spotlight, becoming an immediate success, but she only has eyes for Thor, the young scion to the ballet's greatest patron family, who has been masquerading as a stagehand in order to continue a longstanding liaison with her. But Jane's made a deal with something far worse than the devil, and now he's coming to claim his due. Rec: A ballet AU that reminds me a lot of Black Swan tone-wise. Warning though, there is a love triangle that includes Lokane. | 9.6k | In progress

Five Times Having An Alien Prince's Baby Sucked A Lot, And One Time It Didn't by shinyopals: It was the doctor’s turn to look nonplussed. ‘Dr Foster,’ she said quietly, ‘you’re around four weeks pregnant.’ ‘No I’m not,’ said Jane again. She was pretty sure she’d remember if Thor had reappeared for some awesome sex a month ago. He had not. She’d gotten through enough batteries to prove it. Jane isn't quite sure how this all happened. She just knows it's a lot of work and it keeps taking her away from her Physics. Rec: The Definitive™ Fosterson babyfic. I’m generally not much for babyfic because I’m not much for babies. But I’ve read this so many times and it’s so incredibly wonderful. | 24k | Complete

Strange Earth series by Niobium: The apocalypse has come and gone, leaving the Earth strange and altered in its wake. What was once a thriving world of magic and science has become a tractless, untamed Wilderness teeming with dangerous creatures born of warped energy pouring through rents in the fabric of space and time. Society has withdrawn into magically-walled Wards to keep itself safe as it seeks a way to reclaim the planet before it’s twisted beyond all recognition, and its Seers and Champions struggle to protect humanity and one another. Rec: An incredibly imaginative ghost hunting AU. Great world building, and fantastic interaction between Jane and Thor. | 12.6k | In progress

The Obloquy of Newness by Niobium: Jane just wants to present her findings and maybe win a Nobel Prize. That would be a lot easier if all these xenophobes, science deniers, and robots bent on world destruction would stop getting in the way. Or, Jane Foster and Darcy Lewis, and what they were up to before, during, and after Avengers: Age of Ultron. Rec: A really delightful companion to AOU. | 17.4k | Complete

Sex Ed For Asgardians (Isn’t Exactly Necessary) by shinyopals: 'It’s a condom,’ Jane said eventually, reminding herself she was an adult in an adult relationship, albeit a very new one with an alien forty times her age who could hardly be expected to know what Earth birth control was like. Jane and Pepper learn that some myths and legends are true. Rec: I have no idea why this wasn’t on the reclist before. It’s hilarious and also really heartfelt. I love Respectfulinthebedroom!Thor. I love the open communication between them. Lawd. | 3.4k | Complete

Pedulum: Beginning by hariboo: Kept apart, with worlds between them, Jane and Thor do not give up on one day finding each other again. Rec: Exquisite buildup to a reunion. Both Jane and Thor are in-character with their own agency, but its obvious they’re nuts for each other. | 28.5k | Complete | Part of in progress series, Pendulum

Pendulum: Between by hariboo: Having found each other again doesn’t mean things have gotten easier for Thor and Jane. In some ways things are only getting more complicated. At least now they can face whatever comes their way together. Rec: Continiation of Beginning (recced above). Nuanced, sweet, messy, fantastic character dynamics, and with a great plot. | 56.8k | Complete | Part of in progress series, Pendulum

The Hitchhikers Guide to the Guardians of the Galaxy by Maybug: Jane Foster and Thor are finally getting married! Most couples go a little crazy when they’re ecstatically happy, unfortunately for these two going crazy involves knocking a hole in spacetime and marooning themselves and two of Jane’s friends on a desolate and dangerous planet halfway across the galaxy. Meanwhile Darcy, Sif and Bill are trying to find them in Skuttlebutt. Will they survive? Will they make it to the wedding in time? Will Thor’s attempts to communicate with Groot drive everyone crazy? Will Darcy get to witness Jane’s brief Goth phase? Will Jane’s friend Sayed get over his Star-Trek inspired fantasies about green-skinned alien women? Find out in the next exciting installment of Journey into Mishap! Rec: Part of a really great series by a great author. Humorous and kind of cracky. Mixture of MCU and comic canon. Just one chapter short of completion. | 12.7k | In progress | Part of Journey into Mishap and the Fosterson Files

Welcome to the Fall by Niobium: The Avengers pick up the pieces in the aftermath of Sokovia. Inter- and post-film gap-fillers and ficlets, with varying POV characters. A couple of them are slightly canon divergent and will be labeled as such. Rec: A really solid piece of prose, careful of canon while building upon it/improving it. The fosterson is handled really well. | 5.5k | Complete

The House of Foster by ArticulatioHumeri: She had set out to study wormholes. Never would Jane Foster have thought that it would lay the foundations of a family clan. Rec: Great fosterson moments, and with proper time devoted to them. A good, long read. Probably the longest fic I have on this list, and the longest Marvel fic that actually legitimately features Fosterson prominently. | 224k | Complete

The Measure of a Man by fayedartmouth: Thor is banished to Earth. Reclaiming his worth is harder than he thinks it will be. AU of the movie Thor. Rec: By now, y’all know I love fics where Thor was on Earth longer than in canon. This is probably my favorite, because Thor is incredibly well-written, and the cultural/personal struggles he encounters are written fantastically. The fosterson is incredibly organic and lovely. | 140.7k | Complete

Towards the Storm by iwillavengeyou: Jane Foster is worthy. Jane Foster is the Mighty Thor. But was she always this way? This fic seeks to examine Jane’s path to picking up the mighty hammer Mjolnir, and her journey as a heroine who, underneath it all, is only human. Rec: One of the few fics I’ve been able to find and enjoy that deals with Jane’s place as Thor in the 616 universe. I like the story’s trajectory, but it has since been orphaned. If anyone wants to... ya know... pick it up... that’d be swell. | 1.5k | In progress

As You Wish by MissChrisDaae: After the apparent death of the only man she will ever love, Jane finds herself the unwilling bride-to-be of the kingdom’s icy hearted crown prince, whose interest in her is almost as unnerving as the man himself. Before the wedding can take place, Jane finds herself in the hands of three kidnappers, her life in danger, and a mysterious figure in black pursuing them. Fencing. Fighting. Torture. Revenge. Giants. Monsters. Chases. Escapes. True love. Miracles. What more does a story need? Rec: THE PRINCESS BRIDE FUSION THAT YOU DIDN’T KNOW YOU NEEDED UNTIL NOW. Also Sif is Indigo Montoya. If the fosterson wasn’t enough to get you to read it. | 21.3k | Complete

Girls’ Night by Maybug: With Thor in Asgard and the other Avengers away on a mission, Darcy, Betty, Pepper and Jane decide to have a girls’ night. A certain supervillain has other plans, but it’s nothing they can’t handle. Rec: fosterson is background, but you all know I can’t resist a good Marvel ladies asskicking story. Story is mostly from Jane’s POV, so good insights on fosterson. | 11.2k | In progress

Thor 2 Rewritten: The Shaded Tree by kes: Rec: A series of oneshots and short multichapters that rewrite the second Thor movie. Not everything is over fosterson, but it’s always an undercurrent. Worth the read. Such a great alternative to canon. | 44k | Incomplete, abandoned

don’t need no ammunition (ain’t the bridge that’s falling down) by anthropologicalhands: Thor (2011) AU. After the battle at Jotunheim, something goes wrong and Sif finds herself stranded on Midgard. Jane is still chasing bridges and wants to know how this strange woman got in her atmospheric disturbance. Darcy’s psyched…and a little freaked out. Meanwhile, Thor and Loki embark on an quest (actually: intergalactic road trip) to rescue Sif. Thor has to prove himself. Loki is having an identity crisis. Do the math. Rec: Great interactions with everyone. Jane and Thor are still absolutely smitten despite the different circumstances. Loki/Sif is also a main pairing. | 39k | Complete

Fate Has Brought Us Together by asoulofstars: A series of one-shots detailing the lives of Thor Odinson and Jane Foster. Set after the events of Thor: The Dark World. Rec: We all know I’m a sucker for fosterson fluffies. The chapters are generally short and sweet. Read for smiles and butterflies and rainbow puking. | 9.9k | In progress

We Have Joyed To Be Forlorn by Niobium: Jane Foster’s life carries on in the wake of the Convergence, complete with exciting new research prospects, a displaced and grieving alien, considerations on the functionality of magic, and massive shakeups in world espionage. Or, The continuing adventures of Jane Foster, from the end of Thor: The Dark World to just after the events of Captain America: The Winter Soldier. Rec: What it says on the tin. I highly recommend reading anything by this author. Both Jane and Thor are done justice to, beautifully. Lots of cutesy Fosterson that feels very real and not just like a fangirl threw up on a page. Really a gorgeous story. | 13.8k | Complete

Rowing in Eden by ancarett: The Bifrost is no longer broken but is becoming unpredictable: delivering its travellers far afield. With Midgard’s link to Asgard at risk, Jane and Thor have to restore stability to the wormhole or risk being separated forever. Rec: Jane and Thor doing science together and being cute together. Features all the Avengers. | 34.5k | Complete

Fundamental Forces by nayanroo: In an attempt to rein in the son that remains to her after Thor’s banishment, Frigga arranges a marriage between two old friends in the hopes that they can work together to heal an eroded realm. On Earth, a prince searches for identity after his world is turned upside-down. And in the darkness, something stirs. Rec: mostly a Loki/Sif pairing story, but there is enough fosterson to give a rec. Even if it wasn’t, I’d still rec it somewhere else. One of the most well-thought out stories I’ve read (part of an amazing series, which contains gratuitous fosterson) with incredible characterizations. Great plot, monstrous word counts in chapters. | 181k | Complete | Part of in progress series, The Kingsverse

When the Stars Fall Up by Nyxelestia: Loki is not so foolish as to let his pride get in the way of his plans. And Thor learns there is a lot more to being a king than being brave. Rec: Despite a Loki-heavy intro, we get some good Jane/Thor in the second chapter. It’s incomplete, and hasn’t been update in a long time, but I feel like it is going somewhere good if it is continued. | 7.3k | In progress, possibly abandoned

Watchtower by me: When research on the Tesseract begins, SHIELD recruits Jane Foster instead of Eric Selvig to harness the other-worldly artifact. When Loki raids the facility, he takes over the mind of the mortal woman his brother loves. The Avengers with Jane Foster in Eric Selvig’s place. Rec: Because it wouldn’t be a true reclist without a self-plug. (although tbh I’m tempted to take this off the rec list because I hate the way I wrote it so much XD) | 56k | Complete

Let Me Follow You Down by me: Jane is sick of her family always pushing her towards a relationship. She thinks she’s figured out the perfect solution. Fake Dating AU. Rec: Because it wouldn’t be a true reclist without a self-plug. | 24k | Complete

Rebuild All Your Ruins by me: Ragnarok AU. Despite his hunt for the Infinity Stones taking him far beyond Jane’s galaxy, Thor had always managed to get word to her that he was safe. When months pass without any word from him, Lady Sif arrives with a dire message: Thor has gone missing, Heimdall has been removed from his post as Gatekeeper, and the Warriors Three wonder if their king is truly Odin. Rec: Because it wouldn’t be a true reclist without a self-plug. | 11.2k | In progress, slow updates because it’s me and I’m garbage

Rated M (these won’t contain the smuts unless otherwise noted)

**Stalemate by igi_pigi: "It appears we're at a stalemate, Miss Foster." He meets her eyes at last with his bloodshot ones. "My association with you will continue to doom you with mortal dangers at every turn. And you will continue to inexplicably not hold me blameworthy for it." (Alternatively, how it should have been instead of how it was in Thor3.) [Well after Thor2.] Rec: PAIN. LOTS OF IT. Contains some smut | 8.7k | Complete

Symbiosis: Part I by SteeleHoltingOn: Jane and Thor have to decide if they can make their relationship work. She’s a scientist. He’s a prince. It’s the ultimate of long-distance relationships. It seems that Odin isn’t (wasn’t?) the only Asgardian who is unhappy with Thor’s fascination with Jane. Rec: An amazing look at Thor and Jane post-Dark World building their relationship, as well as all the pitfalls and heartache that comes with that. This author really plunges their hands into the nitty gritty problems with Jane and Thor, their cultural differences, their age/lifespan difference, and so on, yet it is still clear how much they love each other and their determination to make it work. | Contains some smut, but nothing very explicit | 92.5k | Complete

Symbiosis: Part II by SteeleHoltingOn: Loki ascends the throne of Jotunheim. He might have been lonely, but for the little hitchhiker in his head. Thor and Jane have their hands full with their daughter, Val, and the demands of Asgard and the Nine Realms. Rec: A lot of Loki, but also copious amounts of married Fosterson. As someone who isn’t always Loki’s biggest fan, especially when it comes to fan portrayals, I can say that this one is very true to canon and is an incredibly interesting read, and is balanced well with Jane and Thor-ness. The political drama is done very well. The plot planning seems meticulous and is absolutely admirable. I still have the same praise for it as its predecessor. | Contains some smut | 41.4k | Complete

Terrestrial Constellations by NightOwl360: For Jane and Darcy bringing Thor back to Earth is only the beginning of the adventure. Relationships are never easy, the past is always just a step behind, and sometimes the people we know best have the biggest secrets. Rec: Great characterization of Jane and Thor, and fabulous buildup until they meet again. Packed with not just fluff, some inevitable angst, as well as an intriguing storyline. Only downside: I’m pretty sure it’s been abandoned, and on a hell of a cliff hanger. | 78k | In progress, possibly abandoned

The Poetic Edda (was almost entirely wrong) by PhoenixVictoria: In Which: Thor is from a warrior culture (and Jane Foster understands); Loki is badass (but also kind of a puppy); Thor grows a pair and fixes his mistakes (and is a good brother); Loki is a slut (and is a good brother when he has no knives); Darcy Lewis is The Geek Whisperer (which really turns Loki on); And the Odinsons have no idea how to act in front of the media (and wouldn’t care if they did.) Rec: Almost entirely for Thor. He is so well-written in this. Loki and Thor fixing the damage they’ve done, and Jane being a great person. I love this so far (it is a WIP). Later chapters make Tasertricks a thing, so a heads up if you’re not into that ship. | Contains some smut, graphic imagery of torturing/punishment | 81k | In progress, possibly abandoned

One and the Same Thing by MissChrisDaae: Jane Foster is born to the bloodline of the Alchemysts, and the first woman to be inducted into the order. After the murder of her mentor, Jane becomes the first Alchemyst to mix the study of alchemy with that of magic, trying to enhance the art and find a way to avenge him. This is seen as bastardizing the craft, and she is cast out of the order, still working her craft as she wanders the realm. Forbidden from using the title of Alchemyst, Jane instead calls herself Ástkona Óþekktur, a Mistress of the Unknown. On her travels, she picks up an apprentice in Darcy Lewis and the two women meet another very unusual pair: the crown prince, Thor, and his foster brother, Loki, on the run from Amora, the sorceress who murdered Thor’s father and usurped the throne, the same woman who killed Jane’s teacher. Finding common ground, the four agree to join forces in taking down the Enchantress. Even if Jane won’t admit it, she finds herself drawn to the older prince, and Thor seems to be returning her affections, much to the annoyance of Loki, who sees the Ástkona Óþekktur as an unneeded distraction from what matters. If they win the war, there may still be something left to lose. Rec: You can see by the description that this is way AU. Incredibly imaginative, with a good characterization of Jane. | 33k | Complete

The Salt Skin by hariboo: One day Sif walks to the edge of the Bifrost to see compelled to see where Loki had fallen. At the same time Jane is testing a way to open the Bifrost. By accident Sif falls to Earth, what happens after she never would have expected, and then she finds Loki. Post-film. Rec: I can’t believe I haven’t recced this yet. A long, Sif-centric fic that is respectful to fosterson is hard to find, but this one hits all my must haves. Jane and Thor are beautiful idiots, and the outside view of their relationship is great. Very well-written. Loki/Sif is also very prominently featured. | 44.4k | Complete

Off The Grid by Shawn30: As stated by Phil Coulson in 'Agents of Shield’ episode 1-15, "Thor is currently off the grid.” So the question is, where are Thor, Jane, Darcy, and Eric post 'The Dark World’? Rec: This person was one of my FAVORITE fic authors of all time because of their Star Wars fics, and then THEY WRITE A FOSTERSON STORY. I was over the damn moon. There’s a unique take of all the characters, and there’s promise of really great things coming from this story. This fic would be a wise investment. Only problem is that sometimes their fics have very slow updates. Contains some smut | 15k | In progress, possibly abandoned

Lost in a World Full of Terrors by psychollama: Inspired by typhoidcandy - “After Darcy attempts to perform one of Loki’s spells, things go awry and she’s sent to another universe. In this medieval-like universe, Loki is King, Thor is banished and living in the forests, and Jane is an arrow wielding rebel. Can Darcy make it home before the real Loki finds out what she did? Or before medieval Loki captures her and either kills her or makes her his slave?” Rec: A different take on a medieval AU. The first and only chapter is very fosterson-centric, and sets up the action nicely. Jane and Thor are handled very well in the different context. Unfortunately, it hasn’t been updated since 2013, so I fear it has been abandoned. |4.4k | In progress, possibly abandoned

Stop All The Clocks series by Della19: Rec: NOT fosterson centric. This series is, I think, the first thing I read on AO3, and I was blown away. This person has constructed a great world around Supersoldier!Peggy Carter, and I rec the whole series, as the world and the characters are all vibrant and well-rounded. The stories, while connected, can easily be read as standalones. The fosterson, when it’s a larger focus, is absolutely lovely. | 49k | In progress

Rain Upon the Ashes by me: Medieval Fantasy AU. An ancient evil threatens Yggdrasil. An illegitimate heir sits upon the throne of Asgard, and an unknown menace seeks to destroy the Royal Family. Thor Odinson, true heir to the throne and banished years before, emerges as one of the leaders of the Rebellion, further endangering his family. Known publicly only as the Raven, Jane Foster, once a high-born Lady of Midgard, finds herself fighting a war when she once only desired to see the stars. Rec: Because it wouldn’t be a true reclist without a self-plug. | 33k | In progress, slow updates because it’s me and I’m garbage

Rated E (these will contain the smuts unless otherwise noted)

The Secret of Mind and Memory by capitainpistol: Jane and Thor wake up to an empty Asgard and zero memory of their pasts or each other. PWP. Rec: The Amesiacs Who Are Instinctually Drawn to Each Other AU that I never knew I needed in my life. I can’t wait to see how it ends. | 2k | In progress

Love in a Time of Tentacles (or How We Hired Out Our Sex Parts To Tentacle Monsters in Exchange for Remaining in Space) by Rozilla: Jane and Thor’s ship is left drifting in space and the only option is to take up the offer of a Bio-Engineering corporation to submit their bodies to science. Science in this case being mostly tentacles. It’s a good thing Jane’s into this sort of thing. Rec: I hope you’re into wild space porn because that is exactly what this is. Woop woop. Mind the warnings. | 13.2k | Complete

Edging Towards the Light by Shawn30: Thor and Jane navigate the treacherous relationship waters of ambition, duty, passion, and love. Rec: SMUT WITH PLOT YUM. A unique but plausible take on Fosterson. | 30k | In progress

Play Along Prisoner by Rozilla: You’re so used to being not listened to, put down, doubted and generally made to feel worthless when you work twice as hard as everyone else, sometimes you need a hobby like this one. Especially when you have such a willing participant. Rec: AU, Domme!Jane and Sub!Thor. Mmmmyes. Mind the warnings. | 15.3k | In progress

For The Days Inbetween by Simple.White.Lie: Heroes are seldom allowed happiness, and far too often Duty comes before Love. That only means he must fight even harder for that which he desires. Rec: While it isn’t always the prime example of great writing, this fic is still very good. It is a long multichapter which features gratuitous smut (hurrah!) while still maintaining good plot. Jane and Thor’s ups and downs as a couple are well written, and if you’re a sucker for married Fosterson, check this one out. | 79k | Complete

On the Outside by Simple.White.Lie: The King and Queen of Asgard are not prepared for the dish Fate has served for them. To be tossed out like a ship in the wind is more than their hearts can take. Their love is something to fight for.. Isn’t it? Rec: Sequel to For The Days Inbetween (recced above). Both stories feature a very strong Jane, which is a big plus. Again, while the writing isn’t always stellar, it is a worthwhile read. | 33k | Complete

Thor Pwns Walmart by charis2770: Jane and Thor have found a way to be together at last. It’s all she could have wished for, and then some. But it’s playing heck on her worldly possessions! Jane takes Thor shopping at Wal Mart so she can replace all the things which have been torn or broken during their reunion. And buy more pop tarts. This turns out to be an adventure. And hotter than you might think. Rec: Okay, holy high heavens this story is well done. The author does BDSM amazingly, and I recommend their other stories, too. Mind the warnings. Also, if BDSM isn’t your thing, I still recommend the bits in between the smut because it is hilarious and perfect. | 35k | Complete

Stealing Away by charis2770: This is what happens when the Black Widow puts herself in charge of planning a weekend getaway for four friends, three of whom happen to be Super Heroes, and one of whom has an unfortunate tendency to be a little hard on Midgardian buildings. Rec: a continuation of Thor Pwns Walmart, and also features a good deal of BDSM Clint/Natasha. This author remains a good example of how to properly write good BDSM. Mind the warnings. Also, if BDSM isn’t your thing, I still recommend the bits in between the smut because it is hilarious and perfect. | 30.4k | Complete

[whatyoufish4]

I don't think I sent you any of these already? If I did...lol sorry for bombarding you. iron man 2, doctor strange, loki for the mcu asks 😊

Yay, thank you for the prompts!  :)

iron man 2 - are you a secret fan or does everyone know you love marvel?

It's pretty widely known amongst my family, friends, and even co-workers that I'm a comic book/superhero movie fan -- and if they know Marvel well enough to know the characters, they do know I'm a fan of Loki specifically. Even at work -- I'll wear (more subtle) Loki t-shirts to the office, and I've used the Loki helmet cut-out as my user icon on more than a few work accounts, among other things.

I do think that the *degree* of my fandom is something that is a little more under wraps. Only two of my non-internet friends know I write Loki fanfic, for instance (and one of those two is my mum!); and I've talked about why I love the character with good friends, but never with casual friends or co-workers. I tend to be a bit shy about delving into why or how much I love the Stories I love in offline situations.

In this regard, it's odd to have the "Loki" series on the horizon. I've chatted with co-workers for years about Marvel releases, because a fair few of said co-workers at least casually enjoy the films -- but because Loki has always been a secondary character, there's never been much to say about the character specifically when conversing with casual fans. It's so WEIRD to me to think that we are a month away from co-worker acquaintances coming up to me to ask me what I think about the new Loki episode, lol.

doctor strange - describe the process that leads up to publishing your fics. do you outline the whole thing? obsessively edit it? create moodboards?

I discovered early on that I am a writer who needs to outline. How I outline, or how much, tends to vary; for short fics, it's often just a mental outline of what specific scenes will unfold. 

With In Time -- the longest complete story I've ever written -- I had a half-a-page written outline that covered the story’s set-up, the three tasks, and the ending scene. This almost got me into trouble; it took me four or six weeks to get the second task written, because my only outline notes were, "Loki loses his memories of the past four years and has regressed to his TDW personality" and I went from being SUPER EXCITED to get to write that version of the character, to really struggling to figure out what, y'know, should HAPPEN. (But it all worked out; I ended up really liking that section. ;-D) 

For longer stories (especially multi-installment chapter fics), I’ll vacillate between written outlines (The Call) and just a sort of “each chapter will deal with this problem” mental outline (I'm Here). But there's always some kind of pre-decided framework, because otherwise I just sit and write dialogue that doesn't advance the plot and leaves me spinning my wheels.

I've been really struggling for the past year to finish projects; I'm having trouble shutting up my Internal Critic long enough to ever finish anything. At my mum's suggestion, I've started working on projects for just my own enjoyment, without worrying about it one day seeing the light of day. (If nothing else, this is allowing me to have fun letting my angst flag fly. XD)  Doing so has seen me fall back on my old RPing writing style, which is to plot out and visualize the next scene in my head before writing it down, but otherwise letting the story take me where it will, a section at a time. It'll be interesting if that turns out to result in coherent plot lines, because dang, I’m having a lot of fun with it. :)

(P.S. I really love the idea of doing a moodboard for my fics; I oughtta try that sometime ...)

loki - what’s the most outlandish (or it could just be your favorite) au you’ve ever read/wanted to write/thought of?

I suspect my "Loki and Thor become vampires" fic is probably my most outlandish AU (I’m still not 100% convinced it’s a sensible story; but man, would the idea not leave me alone) ... but my personal favorite is definitely my "Loki and Thor become pirates" AU. I toy every once in awhile with doing another installment to that one. ;D

MCU Fanfiction Ask Game!

[draw-me-songs]

Why do you ship Frost Iron? I'd never heard of this shipping before and i want to know why, how it started and what attracts people to ship them. Because personally, my only ship is Vision Scarlet ( and i knew them from the comics)

Oh, why do I ship frostiron you ask? Let’s see *crazy grin**searching for PowerPoint presentation bc I swear I had one somewhere here**loading*. . . Ok.

First, I have to say that English is still giving mehell (yes grammar, I’m looking at you), but I’m trying my best. Second, I also haveto say that your question is legit. Like, Tony and Loki had only one properinteraction in the whole mcu, and it wasn’t even a friendly one, so where theheck did the ship came from, right? Well, for me it comes down to two things: a)Tony and Loki are my favoritecharacters,  b)frostiron is an awesome shipby default.

Let’s break it down:

Loki – in myopinion, Loki is hands down the most interesting character in the whole mcu. Itwas both heartbreaking and fascinating watching him change from that smart, quietyet mischievous boy who never wanted the crown, to a full on seeking revenge being,all bc he wanted his father approval for once in his life. He was being lied tohis entire life, people didn’t trust him and it seemed no one really botheredto understand him. He was just the cunning jealous brother. Loki isn’t a saint,of course. I can try and defend his every move, but the truth is his actionsspeaks of a not very stable person to begin with – in his rage he did try tokill his brother and then destroy a whole planet in an attempt to wipe anentire species out. But that’s exactly it; he’s not just the two dimensional villainnext door, even though that’s what the movies wants us to think. A lot ofpeople like to shout that Loki is strait out bad, which is infuriating and hereis a great post why.

Moreover, hewas unfortunate enough to fall to the hands of Thanos, go through torture andthen invade earth with an alien army, unknowingly influenced by the scepter hewas given. This whole thing was a giant mess and I sympathize with TDW Loki somuch it hurts.  

That beingsaid, I believe Loki deserves redemption. I would do A LOT to see him become anavenger or just being given the opportunity to prove he’s worth.

Tony – oh tony.Tony is the heart and soul of everything. Iron man is the reason I sticked withmarvel in the first place and I would effing die for him. He’s a witty and crazygenius who didn’t think twice about shutting down his weapon manufacture the minuethe learned what’s really going on. He’s a smartass with a big heart and evenbigger mouth that most of the time can get out of troubles as easily as he canget in them. He went through torture and came out stronger, he suffers fromPTSD but kept going on nevertheless and it’s just admirable. Now I can go on andon about him, but I believe you get the point. Bottom line is that he’s not theboring good hero. He’s use to thinking out of the box and if I can see anavenger that give a villain a chance, it’s him.

Frostiron – for the longest time I thought about Tony and lokias individuals, the thought of them as a couple didn’t even crossed my mind. Iwas toying a lot with BrotherScience (Tony and Bruce) bc they’re cute as hell, andspent a lot of time crying over Loki, but one day I thought to myself ‘what wouldhappened if they were together?’ and it was like someone dropped a piano on myhead bc dang ‘WHAT WOULD HAPPENED IF THEY WERE TOGETHER!’ and that was it basically.Like, the POTENTIAL of putting these two together for more than five minutes, whatwith Tony’s cheeky sense of humor and Loki’s snarky retorts and general cockinessthey can roast each other no problem. Their dialogs could be freaking EPIC. I wantedto see them interact bc they are both divas who can appreciate mischief as muchas seriousness. I wanted to see them interact bc both of them went through helland back and can understand each other perfectly. I wanted to see them interactbc Loki is the ‘no nonsense’ kind of god while tony is ‘all `bout that bullshit’kind of guy and therefor they’re so very different from each other. I wanted tosee them interact bc Loki needs a hug and Tony is capable of giving him one. They’re alike and they’re different and they complementeach other. I wanted to see them work together on the same side just bc that couldbe freaking awesome and bc Loki deserves that.

Like, so much started to click in my head I almost got a whiplash(and I’m not even referring to what an aesthetic couple they would make bc thanI would never shut up). Of course there was also the aspect of ‘enemiesinteraction’ and there’s nothing my shipper heart loves more than a goodenemies (to friends) to lovers fic. That was the point where I was readyto open a Word document and right myself a fic bc for some season I thoughtthere was no fandom to this. Boy I was wrong.  At the time there where over 6K worth offanfics and my face was ‘WHAT??’. I mean, people shiped them like there’s notomorrow (maybe there isn’t, since Endgame is right around the corner, butthat’s not the point) and this ship basically sailed itself bc who even needscanon and that was both crazy and awesome. Then I read the iconic BendAround the Wind by Scyllaya and it was downhill from there bc apparently I wascapable of falling in love even more with this ship.

So yeah, I just wrote a 1k essay about frostiron instead ofwriting my seminars, but well.

[thelightofthingshopedfor]

Endgame spoilers again

on mobile so here’s some spoiler space instead of a cut, sure wish you could use cuts on the app

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but seriously it's ridiculous though, like when I first looked up spoilers I was really upset, first because for various reasons I ended up with more faith that Marvel would fix it than I thought I had (like, surely "the sun will shine on us again" meant something, surely the whole scene meant something or it made no sense, right? and Loki getting his own "avenge the fallen" poster and everything? even just from a perspective of telling a decent story, surely they were going to do something with that?) and they didn't, which was bad enough. and then I read more speculation--that I didn't know was speculation because at that point a lot of this was third-hand and people were making assumptions based on other people's assumptions--and thought it was even worse, that the events of TDW and Ragnarok had been overwritten with a mostly offscreen but evil Loki who still died, and I was furious and hurt about that because it felt so deliberate, like the Russos had teased us with what we'd wanted for so long and then ripped it away and pissed on it because that was how much they wanted to punish the character for being popular and his fans for liking him. so, you know, that was fairly awful, that something I'd loved so long turned out to hate me so much and I was just as powerless to do anything about it as I seem to be about real-world awfulness, and I was about ready to be done with the MCU except for fan content, and also I'd just gotten my period so my emotions were all cranked up to 11 and I was nauseated and shaky about it for most of a day (that probably would've happened anyway) and even spent several hours actively struggling not to cry (that part was unusual).

but then the Shark Week emotions chilled out a little bit, and I talked to someone who'd actually seen the movie and found out it wasn't the worst-case scenario of "they made him evil again and still dead", it was actually a lot more ambiguous than that, nothing was actually overwritten, Avengers!Loki is almost definitely still alive, and not only is there a ton of room to explore it in fic but there remains the possibility that something satisfying can be done with Loki in his show or a potential Thor 4. so that was a relief and pretty much let me complete a speedrun of the stages of grief, and I was okay with it because it was so much less bad than what I originally thought had happened. like, what's there is basically a cameo, but at least it still leaves things open for more and it isn't 100% awful.

BUT more people have seen it now and I've read more reaction posts and gotten a better idea of the movie as a whole, and now I'm upset again because for real why would you have all that apparent foreshadowing for nothing, and apparently Thor never mentions Loki (just aside from Thor's grief and trauma being played for laughs, what the fuck), and Loki isn't in the last final battle against Thanos even though literally everyone else is and Loki has just as much reason to be there as anyone else, and now I'm kind of back to "you knew this character was incredibly popular and you strung us along for our attention and money only to reward us with basically nothing, why does everyone else get something and we get scraps"

which sucks because I would really rather be okay with it, or at least okay with it enough to focus on fic and the possibilities of the Loki show, instead of getting mood whiplash and miserably fixating again on how unfair it is

[lokispettigerr]

The Accursed’s Assassin (Part 1)- Loki x Malekith’s daughter (Dark elf!OFC)

Fic Summary: Malekith has a daughter whom he raised as an assassin to do his bidding. His daughter learns of her father’s death and decides to set her killing sights on Loki and the remainder of the ruling family of Asgard. While on Svartalfheim she catches Loki’s trail.

Word Count: 2037

Warnings: Violence, Blood, Mentions of child physical and sexual abuse

A/N: This fic takes place post TDW, but before Loki takes the throne of Asgard disguised as Odin.

Note to dearest readers: I am so wary about posting this full fic, but it just needs to be set free. This is my vulnerability showing, but I just feel like maybe something isn’t right, or it isn’t clear, or something is missing. I always want to produce high quality work for you all because I care about you all, and of course I want to continue to learn and improve in my writing. I know that it won’t always be good, but I just felt the need to say something because I don’t want to disappoint you all. None the less, thank you all for supporting me and making this so much fun for me!

Taglist: @malanix @xletmetaste-yoursmilex @loki978

General Taglist: @njavezan @arttasticgreatnessoftheawesome77 @avenging-blackwidow @lovelyxserpent-br @kamaroon @britkane-shsl-librarian @not-made-of-glass @archy3001 @witch-loki

I knelt down to study an obvious blood stain on the ground, one of my leather-clad knees grazing the dark sand of my home planet-- Svartalfheim. My half gloved fingers reached out and I rubbed the blood soaked sand. The blood was old, but only by a few hours. I was getting closer. I stood, my silver hair blowing around my face, escaping my long braid, whipping softly into my eyes causing them to tear, and stroking my full lips lustfully. Though the wind filled my ears with whistling, I could still hear the soft steps of Sombra, my shadow. The black coated, male wolf my father gave to me as a balm to his harsh treatment. Sombra approached me and prodded the palm of my hand with his wet, wolf snout. I ignored him momentarily, thinking of my next move. I turned my face up to the winds of Svartalfheim for an answer, it caressed me like a proud father rubbing the moon-kissed cheek of his daughter with pride in his pale eyes.

The wind whispered to me with my father’s menacing voice, “Closer still, you almost have him now--so close to our bloody victory.��� It was as if I could feel the presence of my dead father, standing too close behind me, resting his cheek next to my ear as our silver hair mingled in the wind-- the strands twisting, fighting for superiority. His sharp talons dug painfully into my skin as he clasped my shoulders, whispering to me, his lips grazing my ear, “Finish him, my child. Finish him for your father, make me proud”. I nodded, turning my head, hoping to hold his gaze again, but only the wind gripped me. You are your father’s rage, it whispered menacingly. I stepped forward knowing Sombra would follow, my footsteps inaudible on the dark sand. We made not a sound, we were but shadow and smoke as we strode toward Loki, the dying Prince of Asgard.

Have you ever watched as the light of life faded from the eyes of your enemy? Have you ever seen it recede as if you had overturned a pitcher of water and the liquid slowly trickled out until the pitcher was empty, and the water was no more? I have seen it, a thousand times over and more, and not once have I not relished in it. Not once have I not been proud as I saw my good work. Not once. My father, Malekith The Accursed trained me so. He taught me that my wolf and my bone blade are my companions, the only ones I can trust. They are both a part of me and extensions of me. Friends betray you, you can count on that. They will always let you down, but not a weapon--not a wolf. We always fulfill our purpose.

I am an assassin, a “shivarotha”, in the language of my people-- the Dark Elves. Men and women would betray my father or would become his enemies, and I was sent to carry out his unforgiving wrath. To watch them night after night, to prey upon them. It wouldn’t take long to approach unbeknownst to them and stick the blade of my bone dagger into their back. And when they fell, and they always fell, I would sit above them, straddling them to ride them out into the night as their body convulsed and they fought for their life beneath me, their throes futile against me. I would take my delicate hands with their unimaginable strength and crush their throat. I always wanted to finish them with my hands, it was more poetic this way-- or so father always said. I did what father said, and I always went where father sent me. His rage followed. I am my father’s rage. How peculiar it is now, to go where my father has not sent me. But how could he? My father is nothing more than a memory of a people that once were-- a glimmer of a dying star that’s light outshines it even after it is gone.

An eye for an eye, is it? Or better yet, a life for a life.

Odin, the King of Asgard, the Allfather. He thinks he is something special-- thinks he knows everything. You know, he gave his right eye for knowledge, but how knowledgeable is he really? I plan to put him to the test. Will he see me coming with his eye that sees without sight? Odin is a vile, corrupt ruler. He is the cancer that eats away furiously at everything it touches. The only thing left in its wake a fetid, rotting corpse.

Then there is his son Thor, the golden prodigy. He is everything he is told to be, that is our one commonality. He might be fire, more like a spark, but I am the ice that destroys all life to where no fire can be created. Thor is the to-be king, and maybe we can make that happen sooner than he thinks. For a time anyway.

Frigga, the motherly one, not much can be said for her because she is dead. Her soul sent to soar into Asgards home eternal-- Valhalla. Her kind heart made her a fool, and too trusting. She was a sorceress, and a powerful one at that, but her pity made her weak. She died by the hand of Algrim. While Algrim dealt the killing blow, her death came from my father as it was his word that forced the deed. In that way too, each of my kills is the glory of my father.

The last, and certainly not least, is Loki the Prince of Asgard. A charmer that one, arguably the most dangerous in the family. His cruelty rivals even that of mine, and his rage matches that of my father. Loki reminds me of my father, in that way. He is the one I must keep my trained eyes on, constantly. I can never be cautious enough with that one. Yet, I know Loki’s truth. He isn’t really Asgardian, not like the others. That is what makes him so dangerous-- an outsider on the inside. But to whom is he more dangerous, his own family, or me? Loki could prove useful, but one should never let a snake with poison dripping from its fangs come too close. Killing is only in their nature. As it is in mine.

Mine, they will all be mine. The ruling family of Asgard, gods said to possess immense and immeasurable power. How powerful can they possibly be when I can smite them all the same?

And who am I to bring such woe to the house of Odin? XAethera is my name. Now, look at the spelling of my name. Is there a word contained within that you may have heard before? Maybe in a dark, candlelit tavern where travelers from all around go for a bit of rest, a warm meal, and talk of the nine realms. There you sat many moons ago, in a corner cloaked in shadow. You were listening, how smart of you, and then you heard it fall from the lips of a grimey looking stranger with missing teeth, talking to his cohort across the table. As the word escaped his lips, a chill traveled down your spine. Aether.

My name rings like a bell in your memory, striking an ominous chord-- that isn’t unintentional. You are a clever one, aren’t you? So, what then is the Aether to my people? What was it that grimey old man said, and why did he stress the one word as if it had monumental black market value? Why would he have whispered it leaning across the creaking wood table, his eyes glinting as he peered at his cohort, praying no soul could hear them? The Aether is the most powerful weapon-- the most hostile that the Dark Elves possessed. The Aether is a living parasitic force of corruption that converts matter into that of dark-matter and can alter reality itself.

If I am to be truly threatening, then that would be a most fitting name. After all, a name means everything. There is power in a name. I must live up to mine, if I am to ever carry out the revenge of Malekith the Accursed.  

Sombra’s imprint on my mind alerted me that Loki the God of Lies was just up ahead, on the other side of a steep a hill. I signaled for Sombra to mimic my crouch so we could continue our stealth approach low to the ground. We both crept like silent death to the edge of the incline and peered over-- my pale red eyes scanned the gloom below.

I could see Loki’s heat signals with Sombra’s eyes. The wolves of Svartlafheim had three sets of eyes-- most of the animals that called Svartalfheim home had multiple sets of eyes as our land was shrouded in shadow. Loki was lying still on the black sands of the desert of Svartalfheim, much like a cast out corpse would be-- a corpse that has been so despicable in life that it was undeserving of an honorable burial. If not for Sombra’s vision, I would have believed the body down below was a cold, stiff corpse. While Loki was close to death, that was clear, his chest continued to rise and fall with each drowning, ragged breath.

This was so incredibly easy…I, or Sombra could end his life within a matter of seconds. There would be no tag teaming, no challenge, no scent of fear in the air. If either of us ended him now it would be a kindness.

Did Loki deserve a mercy kill? Did he deserve kindness after what he did to my father with his “brother” puppet? Never. There would be no pride in this kill and no honor. Father would be disgusted in me, and if he were still alive...Upon my return, he would pretend to welcome me with open arms, as soon as I drew in to receive his embrace he would yank me by my silver hair, dragging me down a candle-lit stone hallway full of skulls, cave lichen, stalactites and the like, down into the deepest recesses of home and chain me up to think on my failure and embarrassment to him. He would scold me for how poorly I made him look and he would use his hands like rabid dogs against me. Tearing at my flesh in more ways than one until I was bleeding and unidentifiable-- luckily, Dark Elves have an impressive wound recovery rate.

I gave a growl of frustration, clenching my jaw, and looked over to Sombra who immediately laid his enormous head on his big, wolf paws to adopt a submissive pose.

Assassinating the Prince of Asgard and avenging my father's death would have to come another day.

For now I would go reluctantly to the stranger sprawled upon the sands. I would have to nurse him back to health. He was as good as dead where he lie and if I left him what would my revenge be then? How could I make my father proud then? Once he was better, and even somewhat of a challenge, and he would always be a laughable challenge against me and Sombra at that, I would lay my blade deep into his flesh as Sombra brought him down to the ground and we would both lay waste to his tortured, corrupt soul.

I stood and rolled my shoulders to release my frustration and tension with our present circumstances.

“Knocht,” I ordered to Sombra, stay, and he lifted his head in acknowledgement.

I bounded down the hill and approached Loki-- swiftly kneeling down next to him, quiet as a creeping mist. Slowly, I extended my long fingers, my skin almost glowing in the swimming gloom. Without my permission my hand began to shake, and I placed it lightly on Loki’s chest. At the point of contact a powerful, sharp shock went through my hand, and the green eyes of the dying prince opened suddenly, and he breathed in a great gust as if he was given life for the first time.

 ****If you would like to be on the general taglist OR the taglist for this fic please leave me an ask in my ask box. I will make it happen and would be happy to do it! You all make me so very happy! If you enjoyed this, please comment, like, and/or reblog. I love hearing from my readers and LOVE reblogs because it helps me out so much! Thanks friends. Until next time!

If you enjoy my work and would like to support me I have venmo and ko-fi <3

Peace,

Loki’s Pet Tiger

[elanorjane]

Fanfic Masterlist: Rumbelle, Fosterson, L&O:CI, Spuffy

Thanks @jackabelle73 for declaring this masterlist day! 

Rumbelle

California Soulmates - Pop princess Belle wants to write her own music and get out from under her father’s thumb. Single father Gold wants to put his failed music career behind him and get the hell out of L.A. When inspiration strikes, there’s only one problem…the songs they’re writing aren’t their own. They’re each other’s. “Telepathic soulmates” RCIJ for @beastlycheese

Picture of Beauty - Fashion house Jefferson-Mills needs inspiration. Photographer Gold believes a librarian he photographed by accident has what it takes. Now it’s up to Gold to turn Belle into a model worthy of Paris Fashion Week. Based on the movie Funny Face.

Teacup Redux - Rumpelstiltskin trains half-sisters Regina and Zelena in order to cast the curse that will reunite him with his son. In the meantime, he gains a young maid. When he and Belle fall in love and have a son, Rumple calls off the curse. But the two sisters, feeling betrayed, cast the curse anyway, separating true love and raising Gideon themselves. In Storybrooke, a ten-year-old Gideon gets a book from a pretty librarian and he begins to suspect there’s something magical about his town.

Alias Series:

*WInner of the 2018 Rumbelle Prompt Showdown* Written under the pen name Deshelved. Story entries for Rounds 1-5, plus sequels.

His Favorite Criminal - Weaver is killing time at the station on a rainy night when his favorite criminal saunters in. 

His Favorite Woman - Weaver juggles the many women in his life.

Minor Charges - Weaver takes a young punk into custody. 

Community Stakeholders -  Lacey knew that most people thought she was a screw up. Despite people’s doubts, she could give every single one of them the finger with confidence. 

We Could Be Heroes -  Weaver breaks up a fight. 

Love on Ice series:

Belle is an up and coming pairs figure skater. Gold is a disgraced ex-pairs Olympic medalist coerced out of hiding to coach her and her partner, Gaston, to Olympic gold. They go roughly in chronological order from Not Right For Anybody Else on.

Love on Ice - Figure skater Belle and coach Gold. At the Olympics. Over Valentine’s Day. For the February @a-monthly-rumbelling prompt: Love Letter, Candy Hearts, Chocolate, Roses, Blind Date

Not Right For Anybody Else - How Gold became Belle’s skating coach.

First Positions - The first few months of Gold being Belle’s skating coach.

What Was the Last Book You Read? - Written in the final hours of March for A Monthly Rumbelleing’s March Smut Prompt: Having a wet dream and calling the other’s name during it.

Silver Buttons All Down Her Back - Belle had secured Gold’s attendance her 21st birthday party. She’d made the request under the guise of improving their skater-coach relationship. But what she really wants to do is test the boundaries. Written for the @a-monthly-rumbelling prompt: “You’re the most annoying person I know but I think I’m in love with you anyway.”

A Little Flip -  Gold tries to transfer Belle's feelings for him to Gaston. Let's all take a guess on how that's going to go.

Naked Male Insecurity -  Belle and Gaston grow closer. Gold has a reasonable and mature reaction. Ha! Not.

Foreplay - Gold puts his skates back on for the first time in over a decade. Will Belle be there to help him get his groove back?

Fosterson (Thor/Jane Foster)

Thrown -  Mafia AU. The story of two sisters who chose each other ... and two brothers that didn't. Jane Foster is a doctor on the straight and narrow. Thor Odinson doesn't know right from wrong. Darcy Lewis has always lived her life on the fringe. Expelled from his own family, Loki Odinson has never needed an ally more. *Based on philyra-dreamhouse's gifset and prompt: http://philyra-dreamhouse.tumblr.com/post/79058549231

About Time -  “Heimdall witnessed a disturbance, beings appearing from seemingly nowhere, altered in some way.” “An Einstein-Rosen Bridge?” Thor shook his head, “He’s unsure.” “But it could be an Einstein-Rosen Bridge,” Jane suggested brightly. “Jane, I thought we agreed,” Thor began, glancing over to where Leika played on the floor. She threw up her hands, “I know, I know, whoever’s race discovers it gets to go check it out first.” She continued throwing items into her bag, now with a little more force than necessary. “But Asgardians seems to find all the good stuff,” she lamented.

The North Star -  Jane and Thor’s first Christmas/Hanukkah together. Holiday fluff. Post-TDW

Law & Order: Criminal Intent 

Take Me Anywhere - Alexandra Eames never wanted to be a princess. She wanted to play and climb and jump and throw with the boys and for thirty-two years she had. Now a country which she had never really identified with as her own, have risen up to demand her as their figurehead.    

A Woman Scorned - Best read after a viewing of Untethered.

Out of It - Begins with Eames and Ross busting Bobby out of the Psych Ward. Post-Untethered

Moments -  Various Moments in the lives of Bobby, Alex, Emma, and co.

Telling the Fam' -  “Isn’t he the crazy guy that throws himself off of buildings and slices his hand open in interrogation rooms?”

A Labor Story or Hard Labor Emma Jane Goren-Eames enters the world. Alex gets annoyed. Bobby panics.

Overprotected - Future Fic. Emma Jane Goren-Eames recounts how everyone found out about her, with a little help from her parents’ favorite psychopath

Bullpen or Playpen?  - Circumstances out of her control force Alex to bring her and Bobby’s daughter, Emma, to the precinct. “Let’s go play ‘terr’gation!”

zoion logia - Future Fic. A series of shorts I have planned – snippets of Emma Jane GorenEames’ life so far.

Spuffy

Back Together- At sixteen they got pregnant and hitched. They regretted it two years later and split, separating their twin babies. Now, thirteen years later the siblings are bringing their parents back together. *Based on The Parent Trap*

Before Today - AU Buffy and Spike are assassins hired by their bosses, Angel and Cordelia, to kill each other. What happens when their passion for killing turns into a passion for each other? (Think rebel Buffy in “The Wish”)

Comedown -AU Buffy Summers has been asked to move in with her boyfriend Angel Giles, heir to the law firm of Wolfram and Hart. But when Angel’s rebel younger brother, Spike, returns to claim what is rightfully his, Buffy sees Angel in a new light as sparks fly between Spike and herself. Angel continues to plow ahead in the relationship, and Spike brings her to question her choices in life. Will she follow her current path or follow her heart?

Dark City - The future of Sunnydale is dark. Buffy Summers is one of the few left to fight the good fight. When she has to make a deal with one of the darkest there is, will she be able to keep to the calling she was assigned so long ago, or will she submerge herself in his Dark City?

Game of Love - Buffy, Xander, Willow, Anya, and Spike are friends from college. After the graduation The Gang, except Spike, opens a now famous wedding boutique Fairytale. While Spike is happy and getting great projects working for a very popular bridal magazine as a photographer. Now, Spike's boss Liliah wants the famous Buffy in her magazine. Who'll take the great, big project? Spike of course. But Buffy refuses to do the spread, so Spike makes a proposition: he'll find her a guy in exchange for the project. What happens when Spike realizes he is The Guy and falls for her big time? Buffy's already found a man -- a guy that Spike set her up with! Much Spuffiness ensues.

Havilon - S6 Glory is still out in search of the key. A gold poison arrow now in her possession. It hits someone. But who? How is the poison cured? This is a story I started back in 2002 on fanfiction.net under the penname bondgirl0018. I’m revising and continuing the entire thing. This is my first go at a long non-AU Spuffy. Spuffy eventually, Spike/Dawn friendship.

It's the Great Slayer, Buffy Summers - Spike and Buffy are together celebrating Halloween. No angst, just happy Halloween-ing with a little homage It’s the Great Pumpkin, Charlie Brown.

Out of the Rubble - Buffy Summers is living out every parent’s worst nightmare and it’s up to Special Agent William “Spike” Giles to find the person who kidnapped her daughter and bring her back (hopefully) alive. But as these two will learn, the closer they get to the truth, the closer tragedy will bring them together.

Return To You - Years after leaving Sunnydale, he comes back to claim his childhood love. But she’s not so easily convinced. Can he come to terms with the boy he once was and get back the girl he left behind?

Someday, Much More - Spike Giles’s brother, Angel, skips town, leaving him with a little girl and a big responsibility. Forced to give up his big-city L.A. life, he meets a small-town girl who could be his saving grace.

What You're Waiting For - Buffy Summers is a jaded writer. Spike Giles is her editor. When Buffy is summoned home for a family affair in the midst of her latest novel, she drags New York back home with her to little ol’ Sunnydale. Her two worlds are going to collide. And nothing will ever be the same.

[thesuperiorlokiseries]

Here's some more!

Gen:

Detachment by black_feather_fiction: (Loki & Thor & Odin & Frigga) Explicit, Graphic Depictions of Violence. Thor is banished, Odin is asleep, a war with Jotunheim is on Asgard's doorsteps and Loki has recently found out about his heritage and has become king regent in the same night. Whether they go to war or negotiate for peace, they need to find out more about the Jotnar, he decides. He also has the means of procuring this knowledge. Aka Loki has the great idea to vivisect himself. Spoiler alert: It's not a great idea to vivisect yourself. Thor 1 AU.

like a tear on a cheek by bereft_of_frogs: (Loki & Heimdall) Mature, Graphic Depictions of Violence. Odin banishes Heimdall from Asgard for committing treason against the throne one too many times, and the Watcher is left bereft of purpose. He thinks to follow Thor into battle against Malekith-but then his eyes catch on an odd sight on the ruined world of Svartalfheim. Loki, alive but gravely wounded and alone. Heimdall saves Loki's life after he's stabbed by the Kursed and they have a talk about life, death, and forgiveness. Post-TDW.

My Mother Would Be A Falconress by AuthorAuthor: (Loki & Frigga & Odin) Loki is her consolation prize. He is the last thing she expects when her husband returns from his wars. Frigga puts out her hands, accepts him for what he is: a replacement for the son Odin has claimed as his own. A prize, looted from the battlefield by the All-Father himself. She looks down at the squalling, alien child, and thinks: yes. This one will be mine. Pre-Thor 1.

This Is Not A Love Story by Mythtaken Identity: (AoA Loki & Verity Willis)The atmosphere is kind of nice and the food is good and there's lots of wine and it's Valentine's Day, or nearly just about, but this is totally not a love story. AoA AU.

Once More With Empathy by Kairyn: (Loki & Thor) Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Rape/Non-Con, Underage. Thor is distraught by Loki's sacrifice on the Dark World. He is forbidden from bringing him back... but Odin didn't say Thor couldn't stop it from happening at all. This time, armed with the knowledge of how much his little brother bottled everything inside, Thor was going to ensure mistakes aren't repeated. A Time Travel Fix-it where Loki really did die and Thor goes back to save his brother before he needs saving. Post-TDW, plus the myths and the author's own worldbuilding.

Slash:

(Fic series) The Life And Near-Deaths of Saint MILF Villain by black_feather_fiction: (Pre-slash Loki/Tony Stark) Mature, Graphic Depictions of Violence, Rape/Non-con. Loki gets beaten up on the Statesman, lands themself with the healers, & accidentally acquires children, becoming essentially the God of the Orphaned and the Abandoned. On Earth, they meet Tony, then SHIELD. It escalates from there. Genderfluid Loki, Frostiron, whumpy, and with a lot of parenting. Post-Ragnarok.

Where the Devil Don't Go by Lise: (Loki/The Grandmaster) Explicit, Rape/Non-Con. Loki didn't quite make it off Sakaar. It's a good thing the Grandmaster can think of another potential use for him. (Spoiler alert: it's not.) Ragnarok AU.

Deconstruction by usedupshiver: (Loki/Tony Stark) Darkfic. Explicit, Graphic Depictions of Violence, Rape/Non-con. The Tesseract and the Sceptre are gone, both taken away in the aftermath of the Battle of New York. Only one piece of alien technology is left on Earth to tinker with–Loki. And Tony Stark has managed to get the exclusive rights to do just that. The world was saved in the end, but that's no reason not to avenge it. Tony means to do so, wholeheartedly, and there is nothing and no one in his way. Because human rights only apply to human beings, and Loki is no such thing. Post-Avengers.

A Failing In Diplomacy by Evandar: (Loki/Angrboda) Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings. In which Prince Loki of Jotunheim is on a diplomatic visit to Asgard and is confronted by idiots, outdated textbooks, drunken revelry, and morning sickness. Needless to say, he is not impressed. Jötunn Loki AU.

LMD by illwynd: (Loki/Thor) Explicit. The Tesseract skids to a halt at Loki’s feet while he waits for Thor to haul him back to Asgard. Seeing an opportunity, he picks it up and uses it to get away. But it takes him... well, he’s not sure where. It looks like the inside of Stark Tower, right back where he started. But now there is no one else to be seen, and the view out the window seems wrong. Post-Endgame.

I Remember A Shadow by illwynd: (Loki/Thor) Explicit, Graphic Depictions of Violence, BDSM. After centuries of sibling rivalry, Thor and Loki at last receive the news of which one of them the Allfather has chosen as heir. Loki takes the decision to heart far more than anyone around him knows. Pre-Thor 1.

Ginnungagaps by theorytale: (Loki/Tony Stark) In a universe where the Asgardian refugee ship makes it to Earth, Loki decides to break up with... well, his entire life. Tony Stark, on the other hand, is looking for a new project. Post-Ragnarok.

While you wait for the Rewrite...

Here's an incredibly incomprehensive compendium of some of the best Loki fanfics, both to heal from the wounds canon left on us, and to celebrate over ten years of the fandom's love and dedication to our favorite God of Chaos, Outcasts, and Stories.

Sorted by pairing status (gen or slash). The main relationship, the fic era, an abridged summary, and major warnings, are mentioned here, but please read the tags contained in the fics themselves.

Gen fics:

Chaos Reign by fourth_rose: (Loki & Asgard) If a butterfly flapping its wings can cause a storm on another continent, the God of Chaos escaping with the Tesseract is bound to change the course of the universe. Technically Post-Endgame but set in alt-2012.

Castaway Getaway by PeaceHeather: (Loki & Tony Stark) Odin, as punishment, banishes Loki to a remote wilderness with nothing but the clothes on his back, and one companion (Tony Stark) to keep him from going insane in solitude. Loki is sure Odin expects him to suffer and grovel and repent of his evil ways. Unfortunately, Loki is not the groveling type. Post-Avengers.

Fate's Guardian by PeaceHeather: (Loki & the Avengers) The Norns show up on Earth looking for Loki, the Avengers get pulled in to see what's going on, and they all learn what Loki has really been up to all this time. Post-TDW.

Odin's Son, Tyr's Son by PeaceHeather: (Loki & Tyr & Odin) Graphic Depictions of Violence Odin punishes an adolescent Loki myth-style by letting the dwarves sew his mouth shut; Tyr intervenes. The series deals with the fallout. Pre-Thor 1, with several Norse Myth elements.

What you are in the dark (is beautiful) by PeaceHeather: (Loki & Odin, Loki & the Avengers) Instead of a prison for Loki, Odin casts an old and little-used spell on him, designed to turn a person into what they are at heart: good people become glorious, while cruel people become hideous. This goes according to Odin's expectations exactly as little as you think it does. Post-Avengers.

Stars, Hide Your Fires by charlottelennox: (Loki & Thor & Odin & Frigga) Mature. Loki falls from the Bifrost, but Odin intervenes and saves him before he can fall too far and is lost. Afterward, Loki, Thor, and their parents must deal with the fallout of the events of Thor 1.

Bargaining by proantagonist: (Loki & Thor & Odin & Frigga) Faced with an eternity without his brother, Loki strikes a bargain to change the past. Post-TDW.

When It Sings, When It Lies by dreamsthebirds: (Loki & Thor) Heimdall doesn't open the Bifrost to Jotunheim, Odin doesn't ride to the rescue, and Loki is forced to take matters into his own hands. Interdimensional journeys, shattering emotional revelations, and walking trees ensue. Thor 1 AU.

The Sinking Feeling of Anticipation by JaggedCliffs: (Loki & Odin) When Æsir come of age, they receive a gift from their parents, one meant to aid them in their adult lives. Loki watched as Thor received Mjolnir at his coming of age ceremony–one of the greatest weapons in the realms, for one of its greatest warriors. Now, it's Loki's turn, and he knows Odin will grant him something just as magnificent. Won't he? Pre-Thor 1.

Tapestries by Lise: (Loki & Thor & Odin & Frigga) It turns out that even a god can't escape a beating by the Hulk unscathed. At the end of the Battle of New York, Loki doesn't get back up. This changes more than you'd think. Post-Avengers.

Four Days With Lazarus by LadyCharity: (Loki & Thor) When the sky falls, he reaches for his brother. (In which Loki is afraid of hell.) Post-Avengers.

Jacob And Esau Say Their Goodbyes by LadyCharity: (Loki & Thor) Major Character Death After Svartalfheim, Loki is still alive. In the end, it changes nothing. In which Thor hurts, Loki loves, and Jane learns how to lie. Post-TDW.

Mummy Went to Heaven by LookingForHell: (Loki & Original Child Character, Loki & the Avengers) Most of the world would call Loki a villain. A good number are indifferent, too far from the damage he does to even know the name, and some fear him as a god. Yet one little boy knows him as a hero. Post-Avengers.

Foundations by AuroraWest: (Loki & Thor) Nothing crumbles all at once. Loki, and five times the cracks showed. Pre-Thor 1.

Intervention by Asidian: (Loki & the Avengers) Graphic Depictions of Violence. In which the Avengers try with increasing desperation to free Loki from the All-Father's very myth-accurate punishment. Post-Avengers.

a circle has no beginning by Remedial: (Loki & Thor, Loki & the Void) Graphic Depictions of Violence. There is no up or down in the Void. No forward or back or diagonal. The Ginnungagap is always hungry. (In which Loki is falling.) Post-Thor 1.

Life in Reverse by Lise: (Loki & Natasha Romanoff) Home is where you make it. Or, the AU where Loki falls to Earth after Thor, wanders around trying to work out what to do with himself, and somehow ends up working for SHIELD. Post-Thor 1.

Slash fics

The Prestige by black_feather_fiction: (Loki/Tony Stark) Explicit, Graphic Depictions of Violence, Rape/Non-con. An epic tale about Thanos, a song, and two mages in a weird and rather unkind world, who might be a tiny little bit afraid that love might be what they are starting to feel for each other. Set in a fun mash-up of Phase 2, the comics, Norse Mythology, and the writer's own worldbuilding.

Syrgja by LadyCharity: (Loki/Natasha Romanoff) Mature, Graphic Depictions of Violence, Rape/Non-con. None of this was supposed to happen. SHIELD wasn't supposed to find Thor and Loki on Earth three years after the battle of New York. Loki wasn't supposed to be a silent shadow of who he once was. And the Avengers weren't ever meant to have to endure the madness that would follow. "Cry, Loki. Cry." Post-Avengers.

Catch and Release by Like_A_Hurricane: (Loki/Tony Stark) Explicit, Graphic Depictions of Violence. Here unfolds a tale of war, desire, and warring desires. After the invasion of New York, Tony figures out Loki’s game, and he lays out an ultimatum that the trickster can’t escape from, maneuvering Loki into agreeing to be an ally, rather than a foe. Naturally, it doesn't stay quite that simple. Set in a fun mashup of Phase 1-2, the comics, the myths, and the writer's own worldbuilding. Post-Avengers.

Silvertongue by Epiphanyx7: (Loki/Thor but only if you squint) Mature, Major Character Death, Suicide. Loki's plan has gone perfectly, now he needs only to see it to its natural conclusion. No Asgardian cell can hold him. Loki's magic is bound, but his mind is not - and the Aesir were always fools to think that Loki's mind was anything other than his most dangerous asset. Post-Avengers.

Dead wings carried like a paper kite by illwynd: (Loki/Thor) Mature, Graphic Depictions of Violence, Major Character Death. In the heat of battle, Loki kills his brother. As soon as Thor lies dead at his feet, though, he realizes this is not what he wanted. So he brings Thor back, and surely all is well again. Right? Post-Avengers.

Monster Culture by temporal-infidelity: (Loki/Bruce Banner) When Loki is injured by Kurse in Thor: The Dark World, Thor pleads his case to the All-Father, and Loki is given the chance to repay his wrongs on Midgard in the care of Bruce Banner. Over the course of a year, the two navigate the city of Boston and try to figure out what it means to be human and what it means to be a monster. Post-TDW.

Out of the Depths by feelslikefire: (Loki/Bruce Banner) Still in hiding from the American government and having been forced to leave Calcutta, Bruce Banner finds an angry, injured Loki in an alley in a shady part of Bangkok. Bruce has more questions than Loki is willing to answer, but when Loki finds out about the Hulk, he has some questions of his own. Post-Thor 1, Pre-Avengers.

I Am Yours, And All - Or the Arduous Emancipation of One Loki Odinson by black_feather_fiction: (Loki/Steve Rogers/Tony Stark) Mature, Graphic Depictions of Violence, Rape/Non-con. Thor isn’t interrupted by Hela in his growing grief and rage at his father’s death. He accidentally kills Loki in his anger, only barely managing to bring him back, taking him to Tony to seek medical help. As the Avengers involuntarily get more involved in the family dynamics between Thor and Loki, they realize that this is less about protecting people from Loki, and more about protecting Loki from Thor instead. Ragnarok AU, also not Civil War compliant.

Everyone: you're encouraged to reblog with more fic recs!

[veliseraptor]

Ragnarok brought back my Brodinson feels so I was wondering if you could recommend any fics that really nail their whole sibling dynamic?

oh boy. One of my favorite genres! I read a lot of this, and have written a fair amount myself (what is shameless self promotion) so here’s a selection of what I’ve come up with. 

No Such Liberty by Xparrot

Following the attack on New York, Thor takes Loki back to Asgard in chains; but this does not mean that the god of mischief's schemes are ended, or that Thor has or ever will give up on his brother. But when Thanos threatens the realm to claim his lost prizes, on which side will Loki fall?

Freefall by galaxysoup

Loki falls. Thor catches him. This does not solve as many problems as Thor thought it would. (Has a sequel.)

Weary and Wary by Erin_A2

More than anything else, Loki is tired.

AKA: In which Loki would like little more than to sleep his life away in his Asgardian prison cell, whereas Thor would very much prefer to talk about their feelings.

Flying from the blast by belmanoir (series)

Thor and Loki go on the run together post-Avengers, road-trip across Australia, and get family therapy. Then Loki is captured by S.H.I.E.L.D., and the Avengers assemble.

in her garden grew hyacinths by LadyCharity (major character death)

There is a tapestry that hung on Frigga's wall for as long as Thor can remember. He won't admit it, but the sight of it makes him want to cry.

Jacob and Esau say their goodbyes by LadyCharity (major character death)

After Svartalfheim, Loki is still alive. In the end, it changes nothing.

In which Thor hurts, Loki loves, and Jane learns how to lie.

Four Days With Lazarus by LadyCharity

When the sky falls, he reaches for his brother.

Hospitality by Mikkeneko

When Loki reappears after a three-month absence and invites his brother on a new adventure, Thor has no reason to suspect anything is amiss. Written for a prompt on Norsekink requesting a retelling of the lay of the giant Geirröd, from the Thorsdrapa.

Bargaining by proantagonist

Faced with an eternity without his brother, Loki strikes a bargain to change the past. Post TDW.

Recalibrating by KhamanV (post-Ragnarok)

At the end of it all, the brothers are changed and are still changing. In large ways, and sometimes very small ones.

the end is where we start from by 100indecisions (post-Ragnarok)

“If you were really here,” Thor says with his painfully familiar half smile, “I might give you a hug."

over the edge of all our knowing by grim_lupine (post-Ragnarok, marked as pre-slash but reads as gen)

A week into their tragic, limping journey through space, Loki finds himself coming face-to-face with his most dangerous foe: boredom.

As it turns out, it's difficult to fill your day so thoroughly you can't think, even when you're sticking to your best behavior and helping heal, and rebuild, and making sure your brother doesn't forget he has only one eye and trip through a window into space somewhere.

Really, it's probably in everyone's best interest that Loki find something to do. When he's bored, he schemes; and it's possible he's come to terms with the fact that his sense of appropriate scale is, at times, lacking.

put out the flames by finalizer (post-Ragnarok)

Thor has his doubts, but he takes Loki back to Earth. Somehow, it gets easier from there.

better stop and rebuild all your ruins by ohliamylia (post-Ragnarok)

Thor and Loki regroup. Immediate post-movie tag.

AND BY ME, CAUSE I CAN’T RESIST

untangle your wings and fly to a sheltered sky by Lise

There are fire giants in Asgard. Thor would really like an explanation, but he needs Loki to stop dying first.

Keeping Time by Lise

Thor keeps a mental count of the days since he last saw Loki. Just in case.

Wistful still, and still aspiring by Lise

Loki feels like he might be losing himself, sometimes. When that happens, he goes wandering.

Or, he calls it wandering. Really, he always ends up in the same place.

Road to Nowhere by Lise

When Loki turns up demanding Thor's help on a quest to retrieve the All-Mother from Valhalla, Thor isn't about to say no. But that doesn't mean he's forgotten anything, and what better time than a road trip through the backwaters of the universe for trying to talk things out?

who’s left and who’s leaving by Lise

Thor decides he's about done with letting Loki get himself hurt and pretending he's okay with it. Loki's got two feet of steel through his lungs and is finding it difficult to argue. Family therapy, at its finest.

There May Be Better Brothers (But You’re the Only One That’s Mine) by Lise

Loki believed that at its most simplistic, there were two choices in any given situation: the smart choice, and the Thor choice. Very seldom did the two overlap. Very, very seldom. Or: Thor gets himself into trouble. Loki gets him out of it. This is embarrassing.

[iamanartichoke]

im still upset about frigga telling loki not to make illusions in TDW lol. like. what was he SUPPOSED to do?! over a pretty short period in his life (esp given his lifespan) he lost absolutely everything and now he trapped in a tiny cell alone. forever. with nothing to do. why shouldn't he lose himself in illusions to ease his pain a bit?

I have such mixed feelings about Frigga, and this is actually kinda a perfect example of how a fan interpretation can differ (or even be incorrect) from what’s really happening on-screen, but that doesn’t mean the way the fan interacts with it has to change. 

In my case, I interpret and headcanon that Frigga and Loki’s bond is very strong and that Frigga only has his best interests at heart. I tend to write her that way as well, both when she appears in fic and when Loki is thinking about her. But, others have pointed out how Frigga’s treatment of Loki - while kinder than Odin’s - is just as manipulative and harmful, and the canon more or less supports that. I want to love Frigga and love her as a loving mom for Loki, but - well. 

In this instance, I don’t know why she would tell him not to make illusions. I mean, I can see it from an objective standpoint - she says that too many illusions will cause him to lose his grasp on reality, and certainly Loki’s grasp on reality is tenuous to start with (insofar as his own breakdown/mind torture is concerned) and she doesn’t want it to slip further. She wants Loki grounded in the “here and now,” - and, okay, that’s fair. 

But as you said, it begs the question of what, exactly, Loki should be doing instead. What good is being grounded or confronting reality if all he’s confronting is that he’s lost everything and has been imprisoned for life, with no one on the outside - save Frigga - who even cares. Loki’s reality is no picnic, and solitary confinement is mentally traumatizing; people lose their grasp on reality anyway, if they’re locked away for long enough. 

If recognizing that there’s nothing in his life worth dealing with and indulging himself in rewriting his own story to where he is the hero - but, more importantly, that his people love him - helps him pass the time (and “doesn’t make [him] feel any worse”), then by all means, why shouldn’t he indulge? 

That Frigga discourages him from doing this is a little side-eye-y, then, because - I don’t know, I would wager that she doesn’t want him to do this not because it’s harmful to him but, rather, because it makes her uncomfortable in some way. Maybe Loki playing out his own ideal story forces her to consider her role in how it all went wrong (lying by omission is lying, and she’s never stood up to Odin in defense of Loki that we’ve seen on-screen [although it’s implied she advocated for him to not be executed so, yknow, thanks for that]) and how much responsibility she holds for where Loki has ended up. 

Another aspect to consider is that her definition of reality might differ from Loki’s, in that she continues to refer to Odin as Loki’s father and when he finally snaps and says Odin is not, she counters with, “Then am I not your mother?” There’s this kind of implication that wanting Loki to “not lose his grasp on what’s real” includes wanting - or needing - him to continue to grasp the narrative of his life and of his family (that is, that he’s a member of this family and his parents are still his parents). Loki’s refusal to do so causes her to keep coming up against a wall with him, where they won’t see eye-to-eye. She doesn’t accept that she’s the one who needs to shift her perspective of the situation if she wants to get anywhere with Loki. 

I ... don’t know if I’m making sense. This could slip into a whole argument about how the core of Frigga discouraging Loki’s illusions while still insisting he’s their son is really about her wanting to control how Loki thinks and feels, and if that is what she wants, it says nothing too flattering about her as a mother. But I think that’s a topic that others can (and have) explored much more eloquently than I can, lmao. 

Anyway I hope that this is a decent response and thank you for the ask! 

[minaminokyoko]

Thor: Ragnarok is extra as fuck and I am so down with that.

Oh, sweet Odin, you don't know how much I fucking needed this movie in my life.

Now, I am one of the only MCU fans on the planet who not only loves the Thor movies but would like to happily tell the rest of the MCU fans to fuck off the edge of my metaphorical dick for constantly ragging on them. They are fun films with lots of charm and I can't stand that Thor is constantly thrown under the bus by these same fans who worship worthless characters left and right and yet won't give the God of Thunder the time of day. Well, if nothing else, I think the naysayers have to admit that Thor: Ragnarok if nothing else will be the most memorable film in his trilogy. To me, it's like a giant, decadent chocolate sundae. It gets sweeter with every bite and you love every second of it. Naturally, spoilers ahead.

Overall Grade: A-/B+

Pros:

-Obviously, the script writers had a bet with the Guardians of the Galaxy writers on how they could make the funniest film in the MCU, because Ragnarok was making an honest effort to beat their films in terms of just gut-busting moments. It's awkward humor, it's visual gags, it's wonderful performances, it's everything to make you damn near pee yourself in your theater seat. I've always liked Thor's balance between serious Shakespearean drama and goofy humor, and Ragnarok basically turns it up to eleven. I think that Thor's best quality is that he's a big old dork with a big old heart, and it shines true in this film. He's a warrior and a giant golden puppy and it's shown so well in this film. The way I've been describing it in my head is "the most extra Marvel film in the entire MCU" and I mean that in the best possible way. Everything is extra as fuck and it works.

-Hela was awesome. I mean, duh, Cate Blanchett, and she was deliciously over the top exactly the way we were all hoping for. The House of Odin is basically the House of Big Hams and so she fit right in. Plus, she was a legitimate badass threat and it was great to see women in this film kicking ass and looking fly as fuck while doing it.

-Valkyrie was also a delightful welcome. I thought Jane was cute as a button and I didn't mind that her badassery came from her mind, but I liked Valkyrie palling around and being a grumpy drunkard who could kick your ass if you looked at her wrong. I also liked that they didn't make her a tomboy--she's just cranky as hell. She didn't feel unfeminine, and that's good to see in a film that's kind of a boys' club. It was so wonderful to see a woman of color kicking ass and taking names, and it was even more of a relief that the initial rumor was wrong and she isn't Thor's love interest. I wouldn't mind a future romance, but it's great that they are just brothers in arms.

-Jeff Goldblum. I don't need to elaborate. Just...Jeff Goldblum.

-Loki, to me, felt pretty balanced here and he didn't overtake the film the way he did in The Dark World. Mind you, I loved TDW. I thought focusing on the brothers was awesome and interesting, but it came at the expense of the villain and that was kind of a bummer. Here, we get just enough of the God of Mischief, but he doesn't stifle Thor or the others. Plus, he was so fucking extra in this movie. I'm crying. The play he put on and the statue he built was just hilarious. He's sitting there mouthing the lines and what have you. Oh, Loki. You are just a fountain of fucking entertainment. Also, I forgot how utterly attractive I find Tom Hiddleston, especially in tight clothing and all black, so I may have had a lady boner for pretty much most of the film. Damn you, Tom.

-The action was extremely well-paced. You had just enough time to get to know people and see the new characters and understand the threat while being treated to some truly awesome fight scenes. Plus, the Thor/Hulk battle lived up to its potential. We were all waiting for them to throwdown, and they certainly did in an epic way.

-Thor and Bruce's dynamic was charming. So, so charming. It was cool because of the Avengers team, the two of them seemed to interact the least and it was great to see them bond and develop a rapport. It's also cool that the film is sort of nodding to the Planet Hulk idea while not being able to go into it with a solo film, but hey, you get what you can out of the MCU.

-Surprisingly, no Avenger cameos and no references to what's happening on earth aside from Age of Ultron. Very cool of them to let Ragnarok be its own story and not get interrupted.

-Ragnarok is honestly as visually stunning as the Guardians movies. I'm really glad they amped up the way everything feels foreign and alien. It gives it its own unique flavor and sets it apart from the first two movies, and I know a constant complaint has been Thor being on Earth too much. Problem solved.

-The Matt Damon and Sam Neill cameos had me roaring. So random, but so good.

-Even though he's pretty much the Butt Monkey for most of the film, I loved seeing Thor be his big adorable, doofy self. He's like a wonderful frat bro, but not the obnoxious kind, like that adorable meathead kind of personality like Joey Tribbiani from Friends. He's a good man and he's been humbled a lot and he does the right thing whatever the cost may be. Good on you, giant puppy god. I'll always have your back no matter what.

-Side note: MCU fandom, I'm not saying you should write Valkyrie/Loki hate-sex fics...but you should totally write some Valkyrie/Loki hate-sex fics.

Cons:

-I hate it when major franchise sequels do this shit: writing the love interest out of the entire story with one line. I was furious. Look, I know Natalie Portman exited the franchise. I don't know if she said anything rude on her way out, but she was instrumental to the first two fucking films and it drives me insane when movies don't address why a major character has left, and it's especially fucking rude when said character was the love interest of the main lead. Stop. Doing. This. Hollywood. Respect these characters. I don't care if the actor/actress left--you need to neatly wrap it up and explain what happened out of respect for the story and the audience, not your fucking studio. Jane Foster started the entire story of Thor. Without her, everything would have been incredibly different and Thor might not have had the development he received as a character without her. I'm not saying you had to drag Natalie back on set. All I'm saying is to give Thor a five minute scene explaining why they broke up, because that's fucking important to him and to those of us who shipped Fosterson. So fuck off with your one sentence explanation, you selfish pricks.

-To that end, fuck you for killing off Volstagg and Fandral without a single fucking word or nod of acknowledgment of Thor's that they died defending Asgard. Look, I'm not stupid. I can acknowledge that these characters were an afterthought and they weren't given time to develop, but they were still a big part in helping Thor out and he loved them like family, so letting them die without even going out like badasses for shock value was a discourteous move. I can't believe the actors even agreed to show up for that bullshit. It's disrespectful. They also never reference where the hell Sif went, so thanks a lot for that too. I haven't watched Agents of SHIELD in over a year and I know she cameo'd there, but I have no clue where she was and why they didn't tell us why she wasn't protecting Asgard. At least Hogun got a goodbye, but why him and not the others? You dicks.

-The story is overstuffed and it's probably because Ragnarok is only 2 hours and 10 minutes long. They really should have just trusted the audience and made it two and a half hours long. Guys, we can sit through great films for that long. We don't mind. We are excited about the characters and the worlds they're in, so don't cut your movie short when you have this much going on. It's okay to slow down.

-Related to the above con, Bruce didn't really get a resolution to his story. His fear of being trapped inside the Hulk forever is legit as hell, and because of the short running time, he just sort of gets over it and switches back to save the Asgardians. While that is noble, it's frustrating to see his story arc get pushed aside due to the short running time, much like in the first Avengers where we don't see how he is able to control his transformation. Do the work. Give him some room to develop alongside Thor.

-Curiously, they didn't give us more fuel for Infinity War aside from (possibly) Thanos' ship popping up. I was sure they were going to show us Loki nabbing the Tesseract in the end credits and then Thanos finding out and going after it, but I guess not. Odd. I figured they'd allude to the Grand Master still being alive as one end credits scene, but I'm once again a bit frustrated with the lack of teasing.

-This isn't a personal con for me, but if you went into this looking for a serious story, you're going to hate this movie. It's charming and full of delicious Narm and one-liners, so if you've got a stick up your ass about your Marvel films being deep dramas, don't even bother with Ragnarok. It's a popcorn flick on steroids.

-I kind of wanted a little more of Thor mourning Odin, but part me is also like, "Man, FUCK THAT GUY. Odin won the Worst MCU Father award alongside Howard Stark.” I mean, Christ. "By the way, you have a sister who is the Goddess of Death and instead of preparing you for her arrival once I die, I'm just gonna spring this shit on you at the last second. Kthxbai." FUCK YOU ODIN. I tried to defend you when the Loki fangirls came after you, but now you can kiss my ass and die. Ugh, what an asshole.

-I would have liked Thor and Valkyrie to have a quiet moment to bond. Yes, this movie is all big laughs, but I'd have enjoyed seeing them genuinely have a moment, platonic or otherwise.

-I wish they would have outlined Hela's abilities and weaknesses (if she had any) before we got her showdown with the Big Nasty. It might have made the finale go down a little easier.

Ragnarok was oodles and oodles of fun and delivered what it promised. I'm already ready to see it a second time and enjoy the charm and the extra-ness. Please do yourself a favor and join me.

[anthropologicalhands]

fosterson week day one: post-tdw

Despite my lack of writing for them, I still have such a soft spot for Fosterson. Here’s a silly fic for them about the immediate aftermath of Thor’s return. This was mostly written in late 2013.

Thor and Jane do not sleep together immediately after he returns to Earth. Much as Jane would like that, she really would, if he’s going to live here, they need to be careful.

There is, however, kissing.

Quite a lot of kissing.

And they don’t stop touching each other. Even after she’s pulled him into the apartment and they’re sitting at the kitchen table and he’s telling her of his decision to leave Asgard, to join them on Midgard, their hands remain firmly clasped.

It’s a lot to take in.

Especially worrying to Jane is that she is not concerned by this turn of events. That Thor has returned to Earth for her, and the sum total of all the hours they have spent together is scarcely a glimmer next to the years they have spent apart and really, how many relationships stand up against those odds?

The answers, to Jane, seem much simpler than they should be. She likes Thor, is intensely attracted to him in a manner she has never experienced with anyone. He likes her enough to move in with her on another planet (dear god). They just saved the world together. They’ll manage.

There’s a lull in the conversation after he finishes his explanation and her questions have been exhausted and matched point for point. They now sit together on the couch in the main room. Mjolnir is dangling easily from the coat rack and a small part of Jane’s mind still wants to know how that is possible. They are sitting close, knees touching, one of his large hands held by both of her own. His palm and fingertips are rough, but warm.

“You’ll be staying here, right?” asks Jane, even though she doesn’t really have any doubts. Thor has as little love for S.H.I.E.L.D. as she does, and while Tony Stark has apparently been redesigning Stark Tower after the crisis at Christmas, she isn’t quite certain about the extent of Thor’s friendship with his fellow Avengers.

Thor smiles at her. His face seems lighter now; the grief of Loki��s passing no longer so heavy a shadow across his face. “Wherever you go, Jane, I will follow.”

Jane ducks her head so that Darcy and Erik (who are blatantly spying on them) don’t see how wide her smile is. “That’ll be here—for a little while at least. I mean, we have some residual data to record. But this—” she gestures at the closed in walls of her mother’s upstairs flat. “—is not permanent. We’ll move again.”

Thor’s eyes crinkle at the corners and his teeth flash white. “They will suffice for as long as you need them,” he says. “I see. Is there a room I can sleep in for tonight?”

There is no expectation there. Jane realizes she hadn’t even thought about where Thor would sleep, if he returned with her.

Equally, she realizes that that is not quite a…thing (why yes, she is a detail-obsessed astrophysicist, shut up kindly) that she is ready to tackle yet. Her logical brain seems to take a Thor-shaped shortcut every time a relationship touchstone springs up.

First kiss less than two days after they first met?

It’s Thor.

Spend two years researching more furiously than ever and having her heart break more than once for said guy she’s known less than three days?

Thor.

Go visit him and meet his parents after only knowing him for three days and not seeing him for two years?

…not entirely her call, but still Thor.

Take up kissing said almost-stranger again as soon as she goes home with him?

Look at him!

But Thor is here now, with her again, and not going anywhere soon. Perhaps it is time to stop rushing in headlong to everything, and take it slow.

“Well, you can sleep on the couch, but we do have a room,” she says. “It’s full of boxes and tech right now, but we can clear it out. Give you a proper bed to spread out on. It’s the room right next to mine.”

Darcy is making some sort of frustrated cat noise in the background. Erik is probably grimacing. Jane doesn’t look at either of them. Let that Ian guy deal with it all. Her eyes are still on Thor.

“I accept your most generous offer,” says Thor, with utmost warmth. He brings her hands to his lips and yes, she’s giggling because it still works. “My thanks.”

“Well, I want you here where I can see you,” she says, trying to maintain her composure and not collapse in on herself right now. The giggling is bad enough. “Make sure that this wasn’t just another bad day.”

Thor won’t stop smiling. Not that she wants him to.

“And I you,” he says, thumb brushing over her knuckles. “My Jane.”

-

There’s nothing awkward about it to either of them, and the fact that they are in agreement on this is a good first sign.

Darcy doesn’t get it. Jane leaves the guest room with Thor sleeping on the bed—jet lag isn’t entirely unknown on the Bifrost, she supposes—and finds her intern scowling, arms crossed, a coffee mug dangling by her first three fingers by the handle.

“The guest room?” she asks, pointedly. “Jane, I know your room is kind of small, what with London just building on top of itself and cutting up all the old houses and everything, but I’m pretty sure Thor won’t have a problem with it.”

“Well, he asked,” Jane points out. “He might want some space, you know, get adjusted to everything. An Earth bed’s a lot different than an Asgardian bed and don’t give me that look nothing happened. I mean, it’s a lot to take in. He needs at least a little space.” She puts her mother’s beaten blue kettle on the stove—tea is cheaper here and Irish Breakfast usually gets the job done when she needs the boost. Hopefully Thor will like it. If not, there’s some instant coffee in the pantry…

“Jane. Two years. Two years. Now he’s here. Why wait?”

Jane shrugs, fiddles with a teabag, leaning against the counter. “Seems like the thing to do.”

Darcy levels a stare at her, but helps herself to a fresh tea bag and turns the stove back on. “Well, whatever you’re planning, I hope it works. Dying of sexual frustration when he’s right there would be pretty stupid.”

Jane rolls her eyes, but can’t help but laugh, regardless. “Darcy, I can promise you that I won’t let that happen.”

They know. They can give themselves breath for a few days.

-

They adjust. Jane takes his measurements and orders an entirely new wardrobe. Erik suggests Thor try getting a haircut, to better fit in with Midgard, and is promptly shouted down, not only by Thor, but Jane and Darcy as well.

“What is wrong with my hair?” Thor asks her later, over cartons from the Chinese place down the block. He is surprisingly good with the chopsticks, though they look no bigger than pencils in his hands. He picks through the chow mein, and seems very close to pouting.

Jane pops a piece of chicken into her mouth, swallows after two bites. “Absolutely nothing. It’s just that most guys don’t wear their hair that long. It attracts attention.”

“And the rest of my person does not do that already?”

Jane laughs without meaning to. That Thor is able to make fun of himself is not something she had been particularly expecting. Especially when she glances at him through her hair, and sees him looking at her, waiting for her reaction.

She unfolds one of her legs and pokes him in the side.

“Fair is fair,” she says, and then leans over to kiss his cheek.

They curl up around each other on the sofa afterwards and watch movies, but do not kiss again.

--

For all of Darcy’s complaints about the evils of celibacy and of how stifling her and Thor’s sexual tension was, it isn’t as though they go for months without sex. Jane is disorganized by nature, and setting up any kinds of boundaries usually pulls at her throat, makes her feel like the air is hard to breathe. This ‘no sex’ thing is less of a rule and more of a condition—i.e. let’s simmer down first before the fireworks start.

This lasts for approximately two weeks before they cave.

For a first time, it goes relatively smoothly. It isn’t seamless, and there are a couple odd starts and stops as things get going, but damn. Two years of pent up dreaming and pining makes for one hell of a night.

There’s an exceptionally powerful thunderstorm in London that night. Jane can’t look Darcy in the eye the next morning and Erik talks about returning to his own apartment. Thor cooks waffles and Ian remains politely baffled throughout the entire meal.

This is her new normal.

[valiha]

helshades

reblogged your post and added:

“helshades: valiha: helshades: valiha: helshades: @valiha, it...”

Groupie! Sycophant! Fan!

OK, so it took me the better part of the night, after being constantly interrupted by people coming and going (it’s Laylat al-Qadr and it is tradition for families to gather for iftar and afterwards). I had to just add my replies and the numbers they refer to, because it turned out long and rambling and probably rubbish, but whatever. Now, how do I add a read more?

1. Re: ‘Earth-616 versus Earth-19999′ - got it!

2. OK, then it's simply that I'm not getting the explanation. It's not getting through. Or it's honestly that I don't like the idea of creating a divergent timeline when time-travelers go back to the past - that's again creating an entire universe that has to suffer these consequences?? (you'll probably say, they're fictional! but what if this were real? aren't you at least a little uncomfortable about that??)

3. Yes I do, if I want to enjoy the movie. I have trouble staying immersed in a movie if I can't at least be somewhat ok with the choices on the screen. Am I not allowed to express my dissatisfction with a plot point of a movie/show I'm watching? Even if my view might not be correct by someone else's opinion? (Also, I didn't like that the conflict between Steve and Tony. They were always in conflict; always yammer yammer fight fight; why?? That's boring to me. I'm finding I don't really like interpersonal conflict I guess? Not even in movies.)

4. But aren't your at least a little uncomfortable with that exodus at this moment in time, where there is a real live exodus of refugees, people fleeing their homes and countries, which have been utterly destroyed and they left desolate, forever scarred and at the mercy of others?? That is like a knife in my chest. Even in Avatar, which everybody is derisive about, when that scene of the Na'vi's home being destroyed came up and the were wailing on the screen you could have heard a pin drop at the theater. It was deathly silent, people were sitting in their seats holding each other, some were rying. The war had been over for nearly 15 years, yet this light-fare scifi flick had enough power to make grown people cry by showing alien people's home destroyed, inhabitants dead, wounded or fleeing. How do I explain how powerful that feeling was then, and is now, watching similar scenes, in the kind of  world we live?

Re: Hela... I'd like to think everyone's redeemable. The kind of fics I like to read the most are often redemption stories. And I'm thinking, Odin lead those conquering wars, He had Hela as his right hand, pointed her towards his goals and had her "execute his vision", let's say. We can imagine their conquests were bloody: his father exterminated (to his knowledge) an entire race of people (I refuse to believe each and every member of a species is evil). He nearly did the same with the Jotnar. Something finally made him stop and look, and ask himself if he truly whated that to be his legacy. The movie says there's no hope for Hela, she's too far gone and perhaps she is - sometimes people truly are eveil; but what if? What if she decided to put down her sword when Odin asked, and Thor and Loki grew up beside her? If Odin gets his chance, can't she? These are the kinds of stories I am interested in.

This is something I've been thinking of often these past few days, with the anniversaries of some heinous acts of war committed in my country. I found myself thinking, would I try to rehabilitate and redeem the war criminals, the gun wielders, and the order givers? Would I forgive, or tolerate their presence, see them on the streets of my every day, see them working as police officers, businessmen, mayors the way some of them do on the streets of the cities they operated in years ago? Would I, provided they paid their dues, and retired to live out their lives far from the eyes of the public?

I struggle with this. Thing is, I don't owe anybody forgiveness for wronging me, and nobody owes me the same if I was the guilty party. But I'd like to think I would give a second chance, if it were earned. If we all keep enacting vengeance, eventually we'll exterminate each other.

(ugh I've again written a wall of text, and don't know if I managed to get across what I was trying to...)

5. No attacks, and I do know; and again I have to shake my head at that disgusting anon message. Nothing, in fandom or in brickspace, no kind of disagreement on what are maginary wrlds and people (even if the feelings are real) justifies that kind of behavior.

6. Re: your own sacrifie - have I missed a sentence somewhere in the MCU that said you could sacrifice yourself? And how would you get the Soul stone then - or were you always supposed to bring another person with you?? Have I missed something?

7. Back up - what Sif show? I thought Jamie Alexander was still filming her own series?

If you remember, I wasn't all that keen on the new look of Asgard they were leaking while the Dark World was filming - I already liked the, er, gilded design of the first movie, and its Shakespearean background. :) I guess the kind of audience that movie found wasn't the audience the TPTB were looking for... TDW did grow on me, eventually. What I dislike thmost abot Ragnarok is exactly that irreverent treatment of previous movies - it might be the thing in Maori culture, but it didn't at all feel respectfully disrespectful, dammit, but plain malicious. They just plain didn't care about what came before. It felt insulting. :( It may not have been meant that way, but that's how a lot of people viewed it.

Foster’s Fellows Forever! And no, unfortunatelly, from what I see except the peope on my dash and people whose fics I read at AO3, most of the wider audience really didn't like Dr. Foster. I'm not sure about the comics - I'm not a regular reader, and I spend even less time in comic spaces, but based on fandom osmosis, I thought her Thor run was popular?

(Lets make yet another Disney+ series - after all, aparently we've got the multiverse now - let's make it the kind of universe where everything ends well and the good doctor gets te recognition she deserves.)

I may have misread the comment on the issue between Marvel and Portman - would you agree that they had a problem with her (or her character) and not the other way around??

(Hel, I must admit a guilty pleasure: I too sometimes like watching cool fights against colourful aliens, as evidenced by a certain movie with a gaseous giant as the name of the main character. :D )

8. I'm not sure that Loki did fake his death either time. The scene on the bridge certainly felt like watching someone decide that's it, it's finally over. I think he knew of the passageways between Yggdrasil's branches, but didn't care if he happened upon one or not. He was lucky (or not so lucky I guess). Same with TDW - there's resignation on his face, plus apparently TPTB decree was that he would die and it was filmed as a genuine death, but the audience wanted him back. In-story explanation might then be his magic healed him, or his Jotun healing, or the Norns had other plans for him or whatever. I don't have any proof really, but I prefer this explanation.

(I should probably heed spoilers which say my facorite characters will die; I do the same for fic so why don't I learn the same for movies?!)

Re: Gamora, I'm sad about the loss of development she went through, all the small moments with Groot, the time she spent with the others on Milano. That hurts. This Gamora hasn't had that, and who's to say she will gravitate towards them again? If she doesn't, I at least hope the new companions she finds will be good for her.

Thanos, get your grubby hands off my Earth, thank you very much. Let's have that battle out in space, away from any populated planets, shall we?

9. Attack: criticize or oppose fiercely and publicly. No attacks whatsoever, not for opposing views in fandom, not for liking/disliking characters, not for anything. Thankfully there's a blacklist (even a native one for the Tumblr app), so I can hide whatever I don't want to see. But even if I do see and read it with my own eyes, if I interact with the post I will not do it maliciously. If we can't agree, we don't agree, and we change the topic. How's that?